From the Archive – 2006

Dec 28

I took yesterday off. I needed a break since the holidays were a little overwhelming. It was nice to just hang out and do nothing. No moving stuff, no work stuff, no the Pumpkin related items. I just vegged. I feel rather rejuvenated, a little. I’m still very nervous about the move and related things. I do not have stamina to deal with a prolonged situation like this. The seller wants to close in mid February which means we pay both the mortgage and rent for one month – yikes! Frank might stay in NY to work out his contract while I move with the Pumpkin to Philly. Thankfully the pre-school is 6:30am to 7pm because I might need extra time to commute. I have more resumes to go out pronto.

Our holidays were decent. We managed to hit church together as a family which was nice. I put my foot down about celebrating Christmas without going to church. It is a christian holiday and I refuse to celebrate it outside of the appropriate context. Surprisingly, even Frank went. I didn’t expect that in the least. I was just going to bring the Pumpkin. We started a tradition that she has to give up certian old things before she can get anything new so going forward, we’ll do our yearly purge before the holidays and donate things to charity. I want her to understand selfless giving. Regardless of the limit I put on the present buying this year, she still made out like a little bandit. She got two dollies, a race track, a tickle me Elmo, books, noisy things, and lots I can’t remember. That on top of her birthday. We also went out to Frank’s sister’s place. Got to show off pics of the new house. All in all, very nice.

I didn’t have work Tuesday so I went to the MET with my mom and sister and the kids. Besides letting the Pumpkin run around and absorb art, I ask her to find things. I had hoped to do some research on 18th century furnishings but alas, the American wing was closed. Actually a lot of the museum was closed…


Dec 21

Zansite has become: http://www.philafleur.com/

I just need to move the files over then zansite-ny will be gone with the wind.

My new side project, because I don’t have enough to do, is to find out how old my house is. I’m pretty sure it’s from the Federal Period due to the fanlight over the door, tooth-like dentil moldings, shutters (even though there aren’t any hanging, the hardware is there), solid brick walls (three brick layers thick) and a rough stone foundation. All these aspects lead me to believe the house was probably built sometime between 1780 and 1840. The problem is that when you live in a cottage or working class house, you don’t get a whole lot of access to historical references because usually that’s saved for the fancy/big houses or famous people’s houses. I don’t think anyone famous lived in our house. Our house does look like the Betsy Ross house, only smaller. Plus people change things over the years and many of the homes on the block have been remodeled and changed so it’s really hard to tell what’s going on. At one point, the block must have been an entire row of houses like ours.

I went with my mom to Philly yesterday to tour schools for the Pumpkin. I found one and will take care of getting her registered if it meets my background checking requirements for a safe place. Then my mom and I walked around a bit before meeting the house inspector at the new place. He said everything is fine and the walls won’t crash around us or the roof cave in or the HVAC unit blow away. We also got to check out Elsfreth Alley, finally, which is the oldest continually occupied residential block in the country. The houses there date from around the 1730s and our new old house looks suspiciously similar. There is a house museum there which I will check out for decor ideas.

It would be nice if the house had a “made in” tag on it.


Dec 18

So sleepy.

I need to start packing. I must pillage cardboard freshDirect boxes from the neighbors and get some packaging tape and get to work. I don’t think I should wait until after Christmas to start.

This week should be quiet which is good because I want to actually do design work for a change. Hopefully I will hear about the Philly job. I really want the Philly job.

Frank and I are going to Florida to pick up the car my grandmother is giving us. We’ll drive it back which will probably be the last vacation we’ll be able to take in a long time. It should be a really fun adventure and it’s awesome that my grandmother is helping us out.

I really had wanted to write more introspectively about this entire experience. I find that most thoughts come in observation form. Like this morning when my train upped and futsed out because of a sick passenger and I tried to make my way to work and I ended up walking and thought to myself that I can just walk to work in Philly and how nice that is. I also thought, as I was sandwiched between two heavier people, one of whom proceeded to breathe heavily on me, that while I do like the city, I don’t particularily care for people breathing on me. In Philly there is plenty of room, at any given time, to avoid having people actually breathe on you. I like that.

Frank and I went to Lowe’s yesterday because he needed a new impact wrench or something manly like that. While he was shopping, I took the Pumpkin over to the bathroom fixtures because she can touch everything and I don’t care. I found a claw foot bathtub that was made out of acryllic. It was so light that I could lift it by myself and Frank and I could definitely get it into the new bathroom. The gears are turning because I always wanted a claw foot bathtub and getting an original is tricky because cast iron tubs are heavy and expensive. We’d have to figure out what sort of shower fixture works with that or if you just get a sprayer. Then we looked at dishwashers which aren’t as cute as claw foot bathtubs but are still pretty nice.


Dec 15

Hello all from Flash Class. As an added bonus, I am writing from a mac which has been an adventure. ActionScript – no problem… that damn control or whatever apple key remains a mystery. I love the class – much more clear that the last class I took. I can’t wait to get back to the office to implement some scripting goodness. They did not teach me how to duplicate myself so that I can get more work done. Anyway, it’s been a well worth it few days away from the office where I can concentrate on one thing instead of 80.

We bought the house. All is pending on the seller agreeing on paper to sell us the house and the inspector’s report. She drove a hard bargian but considering all the perks I think we got a fair deal and considering that she got only 12K less than her asking price and the kitchen and bathroom are dated and there is a lack of dishwasher which will be remedied very soon, I think she got a fair deal as well. I can’t wait to meet her. If for nothing else, she can see that Frank and I are going to take very good care of her house. I’ll post photos once I know her signature is on the paper. We just knew about the house.

I went on an interview on Monday with the city of Philadelphia. I think they liked me. I can do the job. They spoke with me for an hour and a half and asked about start times and whatnot. The two people I met are just the nicest and I think I’ll fit in very nicely. It’s a government job which means the culture is very close to what I used to dealing with at TCB. I have my fingers crossed. Did I mention that the office for the city is a half hour walk from the house? Even in impractical shoes? I love Philly more and more each day. Of course my boss would be very happy if I just stayed at TCB so I really can’t lose. Of course, I have that feeling about the job as I do about the house.

The next hurdle is pre-school. There are a few really nice ones so I just have to see which have openings for the pumpkin. I go with my mom on the 20th for a marathon school-tour and another look at the house. We haven’t even moved in and people are already planning to visit. My mom wants to run the Philly marathon.

Ok – back to class…


Dec 12

I am hopeless… my weekend was like this:

Friday – party prep was sidetracked because I went into the city to return a gift, wasted time until that store opened. Also got presents at the Union Square Christmas market and picked up a month’s supply of turtle tank filter gear. Then I headed up to my job to printout the paperwork for the house and drop off my Luichiny’s which came apart – egad! The cobbler is a shoe god and can fix and they are 10 years old so another year of wear would be a bonus. Then I made it back to the hood and headed to Target to pick up underwear for the Pumpkin and also picked up a new pair of shoes to console the almost soon to be loss of the Luichiny’s. I will never be able to spend 120$ on a pair of shoes and I am sad. I made it back in time to clean a little bit.

Saturday was the delayed party prep. Frank took the Pumpkin to get her hair cut while I cleaned and did laundry. By four we were ready to party. People came, were merry, gave gifts to the Pumpkin and left around 10 which meant I got to bed at a decent time. This is the most relaxed I’ve been in years and I saw people I haven’t seen in years. It was very nice. I owe some of my relaxed-ness to the pre-cut veggie platter. I will get pre-cut more often.

Sunday we got a late start but just as well since Frank went out post-party and didn’t get home until late. We took the Pumpkin ice skating for the first time. I couldn’t find a dealer for double-bladed skates anywhere in NY so we figure she can just use single blades. We decided to head to Target, which was on the way, to get her a helmet and saw the Modells and went in and voila! Skates! Then a quick hop to Target. I waited on line while Frank shopped and thus outsmarted the lengthy lines. We made it to the park with time to spare and spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and falling and having a great time. the Pumpkin didn’t quite grasp the start slow and work your way up to speed skating but by the end she was doing well.

Yesterday I headed to Philly via the Chinatown bus. It’s exactly 2.5 hours from my door to Philly. All in all, it was a very good bargain for 20$ and I even slept on the way there. I was so early that I tried to reschedule my interview but they couldn’t move it up so I walked from the office building to the house to see how long it would take. 35 mins in high heels. Then I met with the realtor to sign the paperwork. Then I walked back to the office building, SEPTA at 1234 Market Street, and had my interview. I think it went well. They seemed to like me and I can do the job without even breaking a sweat. What’s more, they didn’t seem put off by my chatty nature and asked me all sorts of questions about the house and how come I’m moving. I spoke with them for an hour and a half, with two people and they asked me questions about starting dates. Sounds encouraging. I grabbed an early bus back to NY with time to stop at my favorite chinese restaurant in Philly, eat on the way home, pick up a birthday cake for the Pumpkin and make it home in time to have a little party for her before bedtime.

So today I hear that the seller was less than amused with our offer. I figured as much and hope she isn’t too peeved but you always make a low offer because no one wants to find out they could have payed less. At least we know she wouldn’t have taken less and feel better about the house. We’re laying it all on the table and hoping for the best.


Dec 6

Things are moving along. Heh… moving… I made a funny.

I wrote to the lenders asking for yet another mortgage figure. This is it though, the maximum we want to take out. Hopefully the seller of the house we picked out likes the offer. The fam is coming to our assistance. It looks like we can do this.

I had my first preliminary interview for a web position in Philly. It’s for the city, of all things. Not only have I defected but now I might be working for the other side. I feel like a webby Mata-hari. I hope I get the position, it seems like they are looking for a me-type person. I bet I can walk to work. Meanwhile, to prepare, I told my current boss that I could be leaving any time from the end of January on. I mentioned that I might like to stay but I could only come in, physically, once a day.

I also got another freelance bite but the pages are in PHP so it’s back to the books to figure out how that syntax differs from the ColdFusion we use here at work. Seems like it’s fairly easy. The previous designer over-coded and it’s a mess. I have a feeling most of what’s there doesn’t need to be there. I won’t even digress to the Stylesheets which look like they’re taken on a mind of their own.

I am almost done with my Christmas shopping. The $15 limit was actually really easy to stick to and eliminates a lot of stress. I have Friday off so I can prepare for the annual Festivus in peace and quiet. And preparing a day in advance means we can go and get our tree on Saturday.

I also took Monday off and might finally get to take the Fung-Wah bus to Philly. If all goes well, I’ll be filling out paperwork and buying our new house. I do have pictures but I don’t want to post them because I feel like it might be a bad luck, counting eggs in the basket before their hatched, sort of thing. We really want this house… but on the other side, the Pumpkin will need a nanny until September so if this shouldn’t go through, it won’t be the end of the world. We can fill out another lease and save on the nanny fees. Still, we really like the house.

Finally, I saw camels in Rockafeller Plaza this morning. I almost stopped to pet them but then I remembered they spit and that I was dressed for work. Noticing something environmental felt good. I feel like I’m in this home buying mental vacuume lately and understandably something like this should take over your entire life since it’s a big decision. But walking those extra few blocks felt good. I might try to work that into my daily schedule on nice days.


Nov 27

I can’t deal with not knowing things. I don’t have to know the outcome but I like to have a plan. With this entire move thing, I can’t have a plan. I know we want to go. I know we’ll most likely get enough moolah from the bank with which to buy a very cute historically oriented home, with fireplace no less. But I haven’t got a job yet. I am maniacally trying to finish things here because, theoretically, if I get a decent job offer next week I have to take it because jobs in Philly are not as easy to come by as jobs in NY. Frank will be ok. He has a universally accepted skill.

We can’t tie up the mortage details until we actually pick out a house. And there is this minor issue of a settlement coming from Frank’s mom which would be very helpful, although we’re not counting on that at all. It’s all in limbo with no time frame, really, and I can’t sleep at night because I’m tossing and turning. I need to learn how to let go and let things happen. I tend to get very nervous and usually try my best to wind things up quickly as to avoid prolonged discomfort but in this case I can’t rush it and meanwhile will just have to suffer. I must have faith.

Thanksgiving was ok. Nice and quiet. I didn’t accomplish anything this weekend. We took the Pumpkin outside every day which was nice. On Friday we took her to the Manhattan Children’s Museum. It’s very over-rated. For the cost, close to $30, I expected more interactive, multi-media type exibits and it was really only a fancy playground. Our little Brooklyn Kids Museum is ever so much more ghetto but they offer a much more well rounded offering of things to do. I am very proud of her as she continues to use the potty and has learned how to approach other kids to play with them. As she turns three, she enters the “Villager” stage in which she’ll develop her first friendships and sense of community. She’s actually all ready for pre-school now.

I did manage to get some Christmas shopping done. I have put a $15 limit on everyone so it’s all about being creative. And no one has any room so nothing big either. Food seems to be a theme. the Pumpkin is getting a big girl bed. Hopefully everyone will chip in because a) she doesn’t need any new toys – and b) altogether the bed and new mattress and linens is going to cost quite a bit. She’s requested ice skating for her birthday so we’ll try to take her to Prospect Park for an early session. Hopefully we can sneak her in because she’s techincally not old enough.


Nov 16

I have this amazing amount of downtime because our European office just sent me a 31GB zip file that needed to be downloaded and then extracted. We have a new big cheese here at work. I love her. She is wonderful. Just the sort of person who is a good influence. She is sensitive to the effect she has on others and really wants to help you blossom as a worker. She offers the right balance of suggestion and leaves you independence to work it out on your own. She is smart, organized and might be just the thing to shake things up here. And this place needs the shaking because we’re staler than month old buns. We suffer from longevititus.

I can’t believe next week is Thanksgiving already. We’re having at my step-dad’s place. My mom lives there too but she has her own house so I call that his house and her house is in CP where my sister lives. Frank’s dad might join us, I hope so, because my sister in law has to take Frank’s nephew in to get his toncilles removed. Poor little guy is so sick. It leaves dad without a place to go so we’re hoping he’ll make the trip into the city to hang out with us.

If he does come, than I’ll have photos of the potential homes and the neighborhood to show. Very excited about that. He said he’d come down to check out the house for us which will be a big help. Although it looks pretty nice – we even like the paint they have and it might be an easy move in type of deal. I’m nervous about the stucco but we’ll see how old it is. Old stucco is better than new. A house needs to breath. I can’t wait until tomorrow.


Nov 15

This strikes me as funny, not ha-ha but OMG. OJ gets a book published called “If I Murdered…” blah blah blah. He says what he would have done. I think it’s more along the lines of “What I would have done differently.” Who writes a book like that? Who is he kidding? Why would you do that to your kids? Dragging their mom’s murder all up again like that. It’s just beyond bazaar. I’m sure there are plenty of worthy writers out there who deserve getting their work published and here is this a-hole wasting resources and trees.

Work is still crazy but I thought today was tomorrow so I have an extra day this week to catch up.


Nov 9

My poor, poor journal. So neglected. So ignored. And this is why…

I had barely enough time to catch up at work before we took another week off for Halloween and our trip to Philadelphia. I’ve already mentioned that the move to Philly is a pretty much done deal. There are just a few logistical things to work out.

Now, how does a die hard Brooklyn girl abandon the motherland so easily? Well, as we explored the neighborhood that I scoped out, due to similar to Brooklyn qualities, we just thought it was perfect for us. Everything that we like about where we are now, is down there with the additional bonus that we are able to afford a house. Not an apartment but an entire house with patio. It might be small but it will be all ours. The school we’d be zoned for is very decent and it’s very easy to walk to the center city business district for possible employment if need be. I do like my job now and would love to just stay here forever but I have to be realistic.

We kept running into New Yorkers which was also nice. And it was quiet and clean. I also didn’t have any nasal issues while I was there. There are so many more reasons but I still have catching up to do and can’t write much. The details of such a relocation are going well enough to make me feel confident that within six months, we should have a new address.

I’ve been learning about the house buying process. Thank God for jury duty yesterday because I got to read my entire book while I sat there. I now am familiar with several types of mortgages, PMI and contigencies. I know enough to want to make sure we can afford our little home on one income, just in case. Better to be a modest success than a raving disaster, especially with the little one to think about. I’m going down next week to look at more houses and perhaps a pre-school or two.

Needless to say, with client work to tie up, and work projects to complete, and house buying expertise to learn, I haven’t had a moment to write much.


Oct 27

I can’t believe how it’s been since I’ve really written. I do have quite a few thoughts floating around in the noggin but I had to put all my energy into getting everything done with clients and work before we take a week off for vacation. I have still upset with myself for getting sick when I could and would have rather spent that week actually doing something creative and productive. There are things I am happy to leave behind me, for good, now.

It’s been a tough week and I’m completely drained. I have to figure out how to look busy for the next hour and a half before I can leave hence the update. I’m just too pooped to work and I really want a nap.

The day started off ok but around mid-morning I started to feel a little pekid and then I realize I’m having a little trouble breathing. I blame it on my corset… so I loosen it. No relief. Then I realize my pantyhose are binding my ribcage. I rush out to Duane Reade and voila! Instant improvement. Although after having just eaten a big lunch I feel the need to open the corset once again for air. I really do love corsets but it’s no good sitting in a chair for hours on end while you wear one.

The next week should be very interesting. Besides Halloween which is my favorite, we’re going to Philly and will determine if we are indeed moving there next year or not. It’s a hard decision as I am sure I will physically or at least emotionally die (a little) if I leave Brooklyn—I like it that much—and I don’t know what’s best for the Pumpkin since I can’t see the future. There are little signs that it might be time to go. One we got last night in the form of our lease renual in which we were informed that this will be the last year we get preferential rent. That means in two years we’ll be paying quite a chunk higher for rent and if you’re paying that much for rent, you might as well be paying a mortgage. The question is where to go?


Oct 12

Because I want the Pumpkin to grow up and rule the world I’ve been doing some parental research. She already possesses many attributes that exceptional adults have. She is perceptive, focused, sensitive and energetic. This also means she doesn’t listen, is easily distracted especially when Mommy has something else to do, is picky and wears us out. I need to survive raising her without losing all those traits I know she’ll need later on.

Enter “Raising Your Spirited Child” which totally rocks. I had a suspicion but now I know for sure, since I took the little profile tests they had in the book, that the Pumpkin and I are exactly the same. But unlike my upbringing that was full of the adults in my life trying to control me or supress my personality, I will work very hard to develop good communication with the Pumpkin and redirect her energies to work for her. She will never hear, “Children should be seen and not heard” and other such comments from me. So far we’ve been doing a good job with her but the book has some additional pointers for not just getting by daily but really helping her excel as an adult.

With the Pumpkin you have to be very logical and think your communication with her thoroughly and then distil down it for her understanding, which is thankfully high for an almost three year-old. She can smell out a hole in the logic or an inconsistancy from a mile away. There is no because I said so. She tires of long processes and if it’s going to take longer than she expects, you have to divert her energy with a game, hence the “swimming” to the whale in the museum on Monday. I must have looked like a fool swimming around but the Pumpkin had a blast and it kept her happy as we made one wrong turn after another. It’s an early lesson on how to deal with life when things don’t go your way – keep on swimming.

If she’s problem solving, like reading or doing a puzzle, it is relatively hard to get her to redirect herself to some other task. So reading the book is helping me relate to her and work with those traits instead of against which results in a meltdown. In the end I think we both feel a sense of closeness that energizes both of us. Frank took the same quiz and although he’s opposite in some ways, he ended up the same amount of intensity. We’re all spunky, which is more intense than your average person but not quite as off the hook as a truly spirited person. We’re a little more adaptable and schedule oriented and the Pumpkin does handle change without melt-down, as long as it’s fun, and yet sticks to the routine very well.

You know, I felt bad about nagging the Pumpkin with “come on I’m late” the entire way to daycare every morning. But now I know she needs to be helped because she is easily distracted by all the stimuli. She is not ignoring me, she sees everything. I noticed that if I gave her a task like looking for worms or squirrels she would race to daycare, searching the entire way. But without a task to focus on, she focuses on everything else but forward movement. Now we talk about what we’re going to do that day, helped by the schedule I got from daycare about her activities, which keeps her thinking about our destination.

This morning I noticed a snail crawling into the space between a cars door and its front side panel. Times like that I realize I too am watching everything but over the years have curbed the observation because I have to get things done. We stopped and took the snail off the car where it faced eventual demise and put it into a nearby garden where I’m sure it was much happier. The the Pumpkin tells me all the other things that like to live in the dirt as well.

Anyway, it’s nice to feel like your connecting with your child.

I’ve been working non-stop on two client projects. When it rains it pours. I have deadlines before the end of the month so it’s nuts but nice to be stretching my creative legs. But it does mean that I have little time for my little website and blog. Sigh…


Oct 10

I am not dead… I have a lot of work to do.

We had a nice weekend – more or less. Frank had a bit of funk on Saturday… wasn’t a total waste since we took the Pumpkin to the playground and once the two of them were off to nap-land, I went to Target and vacinity stores and spent money on things I actually needed. The most important was a midi-connector so my keyboard can “talk” to my computer, making it much easier for me to write music. Yes folks, I smell a show. I know I said fall but I need a stinkin’ venue first.

Sunday we were off to the apple orchard for apple picking and pumpkin acquiring with my sister, Rose and Rose’s dad Will. the Pumpkin had a blast. We have incriminating video. We waited in line for an hour for donuts… they were worth it even though I am not supposed to be eating donuts.

Yesterday we went to the Museum of Natural History because the Pumpkin told me on several occassions that she wanted to see a whale. I asked her how about the aquarium and she said, no mommy, I want to go to the museum. But it’s a nice day, I told her. I know but I want to go to the museum mommy, she tells me. She isn’t even three yet. This time she actually stopped and touched things. I am trying to make everything a game for her. Is that a big animal? Are you bigger or smaller? What color is that critter? That sort of thing. I am reading “Raising Your Spirited Child” which is offering some great advice along the lines of going with your force of nature instead of against it. Frank and I kept getting lost getting to the whale so we pretended we were swimming through the museum because whales swim.

She is getting more observant and doesn’t quite run around the entire time. They had a special snakes and lizards exhibit and with her recent fear of snakes (she saw Beetlejuice and before we could change the channel she saw the snake part and declared all snakes to be bad) we figured she’d freak out but she looked at all the snakes and even touched snake skin without a problem. I supposed she has put two and two together than not all snakes look like the one in the movie. And in fact they were all sleeping anyway and seemed most docile and passive. At the end of the exhibit, they had some hands on things for the kids to play with and one activity was this match the mouth with the animal thing. So I take all the mouths and hand one back to the Pumpkin at a time and see if she can match and she does, perfectly. She had never seen the activity before so I was sort of surpirsed… as was the lady behind me who didn’t think the Pumpkin was under three. They also had some puzzles set up in the Rose Planetarium and she saw the chairs her size and went right over to investigate. She got that puzzle first time too. When we were leaving she wouldn’t go until she took all the pieces out of the puzzle and piled them up next to the board so the next kid could solve the puzzle from scratch. I have to remind myself, which is why I got the book, that she is really smart and is probably ignoring us, not to make us mad or to be obstinant, but because her little brain is probably working on lots of things we don’t even know about.

After the museum we hit up a Pizzaria Uno. They exiled us to the kiddie room, in the way back, with all the other parents of small kids. It was a very nice room. Frank was embarrased but I told him, hey, in a room like that, who’s going to notice if the Pumpkin flips out. And indeed she was neither the best nor worst behaved and you just expect a three year old to wreck the place anyway. Actually come to think of it, she was the best behaved kid her size. I brought crayons and paper, I’m getting smarter, so she could draw which kept her occupied. She even used the potty… in the museum too so that was three successful public potties and only one wet diaper. The only problem was the grated cheese. She didn’t want to stop shaking it over her mac and cheese. Annoyed by crappy menus, I think I am going to make a menu of my own with photos so she can pick from that. She likes to order herself so that might help make sense of the big people’s menu.


Oct 2

Blech… I am still recovering from the weekend.

Friday I took the day off so I could take the Pumpkin to the doctor. We had a wonderful outting to the “big city”. After the appointment we stopped by my work for a hello and then had a special mommy daughter lunch. the Pumpkin ate very nicely.

Saturday, my mom and step-dad came and got the Pumpkin a whole lot earlier than we originally planned. Just as well since it gave us plenty of time to get ready – spa afternoon complete with his and hers hair dye. I should have taken a nap. By 7:30 we were on the road to Ward 3. I checked the MTA website which didn’t inform us the L wasn’t running all the way into Brooklyn. So after a little cha cha cha on the train going back and forth we finally got off and followed the masses to the shuttle bus. Every time I go into Williamsburg, the trains get screwed up. At least the bus was free. We had no idea where we were going but there was another chick on the the bus who looked suspiciously like a freak so we asked her if she was going and knew where the place was. She was but didn’t and figured she would follow us. Then some random person said he knew where the stop was and would let us know. Ok – finally we get to the stop… still had to backtrack because the station was further along than the place and had we known, we could have had the bus driver let us off earlier.

In case we weren’t having enough fun already, we were then subjected to a hour-long wait to get in. And why? Because they only had one person checking IDs for admission. Why in the world would you only have one person checking IDs for a show that easily attracted several thousand people? Hell, we have more people than that for Contempt. Good thing we had smuggled in a little hooch in a cleaverly disguised Arizona Bottle for our trip because it kept us warm and in a good mood.

By the time I got in I had to pee really bad. Almost three hours had gone by since we left home. Good thing about that too because otherwise I would never had the nerve to make it up the stairs. The venue should be condemed by the department of buildings. I’ve watched enough shows on HGTV to know what bad structural integrity is. At least we ran into several friends which was nice. The first band was ok. The DJs were ok. The art was nice. We were having a very nice time as long as I didn’t think about falling through the floor. I could have done without the guy in his tidy-whities with the faux shite stains on the bum though. I understand being all provacative and all but that’s just nasty.

For several thousand people, you need more than four bathroom stalls with no toilet paper. What the hell? And never mind AC. This place didn’t even have air circullation and there was smoking inside. I’m still sneezing. My opinion of the venue and the organization is so low. Had I paid more than 15$ for the tickets, I would have been livid. It’s probably because I am an old fart but I expect certian standards.

By the time Covenant went on, Frank and I were overheated and just worn out. We made it through a few songs but ultimately left in the middle of their set. We didn’t even stay to hear our friend’s band play and our friend’s DJ set. After going down the stairs again and dealing with the coat check girl who couldn’t find my sweatshirt, we finally emerged. Strange thing was you could hear the band 100 times better outside so we stayed and sat for a little while. We really lucked out because a cab was right there to get us back home which took 15 minutes.

So while it more or less sucked, at least I know that even after seven years there’s nothing so horrible that just being with Frank doesn’t make better. It was nice to go out together and not worry about being awake at 6 am… we slept until 8:30 which is late for us. Oh, and Frank lost his keys but fortunately a neighbor was coming home and we got into just fine. 🙂


Sept 28

We decided not to paint the living room. Instead we’re going to Philly and seeing if we like it. If we like it, we want to move summer/fall 2007. No shortage of cute houses my real estate agent keeps sending me. I found some other cute houses but they aren’t in a diverse neighborhood. I like a good even mix of people. I got the brochure in the mail from a private school and it’s amazing. I would love to send the Pumpkin there. It’s expensive but the opportunities she’ll have are amazing. It’s still cheaper than daycare and they offer a financial aid program which we would qualify for, hands down, so you never know. We’ll tour the school in person during our visit.

With the help of my trusty map, I am getting to know the areas of Philly and starting to put the pieces together. My coworker went down last week and did a little spying for me. Says it very quiet and clean. Well, horray for that. I’m hoping a slower pace will allow me to relax a little. It’s never still here. My favorite times in Brooklyn are in the early morning, not now because it’s dark still, when I go running and no one is awake yet, except for the people out walking their impatient dogs and the garbage trucks. I actually look to the garbage men for safety because otherwise I would really be out on my own entirely. I also love Brooklyn during the holidays when everyone else leaves. My neighborhood with half the people gone is really nice. I’m hoping Philly is just that, my neighborhood with half the people and affordable housing.

Frank is a little apprehensive. He’s never lived off Long Island, of which Brooklyn is technically a part. He’s shy which doesn’t help when you need to make new friends. But we have to go somewhere so moving outside of NY is inevitable. Might as well stay close. It is very scary to move someplace new even though we’ll know people there and it’s not that far from our families. We can come up for the holidays and my family will come down for visits. Still not the same as living only in the next borough. I hope the locals are friendly.


Sept 26

Just a very quick note because I am in the middle of teaching myself Flash Development which involves programming, which is my favorite thing in the entire world – NOT! I’m eating, drinking, and dreaming about variables and booleans. Blech! I did get approved for a fancy-schmancy Flash class which should help. Anyway, if I seem a little remote these days, don’t take it personally.

The weekend was nice. Stitch and Bitch turned into the mommy afternoon. Not much stitching done but it was nice to hang with other mommys. I found out that having two pre-schoolers in my apartment doesn’t work – they certianly need more room. The kiddos did well but I could tell they were fairly cooped up. Zoe had a few problems with sharing in her normally private space but overall it went well and we might see about having some of her friends over once in a while. We will have to move before we consider having another child.

My friendly real estate guy found me another nice place in Philly. Frank and I chatted about it and are on the same page for the city dwelling then relocating out to the burbs after a few years. Burbs meaning historic house in historic small town-like place 30 minutes from the main city, via public transportation. The house is a 100 year old cottage, two blocks away from an excellent public elementary school. It’s just what we need. It has four bedrooms and two bathrooms. I don’t even know what to do with all that space. Hopefully I get to see a photo soon. So cute and cheaper than the original one.

Yesterday Frank and I celebrated the big number seven. Who-hoo!!! No big production made… just a quiet evening at home contemplating our happy home and our journey over the past few years and where we’d like to go in the next seven. We’ll go out this weekend to the Covenant Show and party in style.


Sept 19

There are so many reasons why Philly is a nice place for us to go. But none of these matter if I can’t be ensured that the Pumpkin will get a good education. The good news is that there is a charming private school that we can afford. I can just see the Pumpkin in a little uniform. The school is a K through 12 with a 100% rate of graduates going on to collage. Works for me.

Moving is always stressful. And I’ve never gone to another state before with being with my parents. I’ve moved a lot and every time it worked out just fine and we didn’t always live in the best areas yet I somehow turned out alright. Living in an area more moderately priced means I don’t have to work as much and can spend more time with the Pumpkin. I’m not a patient person. It’s hard to wait an entire month and a half to see if it’s even a possibility.

Our weekend was really nice. I brought the Pumpkin to the Steuben Day Parade, which she loved. Then we had a nice lunch with my mom, step-dad and sister. Then we headed down to the Village for haircuts. I always feel better after a haircut. Sadly, they’re closing one of my favorite cheap-o clothing stores. Just another sign of the times I suppose.

I got a two job offers this week but both are contractual and short term and I can’t work them freelance so I had to say no. I hope something comes up soon. In the meanwhile I have sent away for information about becoming a professional organizer. I’ve brought that up before but this time I think I might be ready to do something about it.


Sept 17

I am watching Bogeyman, the movie. It’s the usual lovely cheese-spook film but there is a beautiful house. It’s a gothic revival cottage. How come I like the spooky houses? I don’t want anything more terrifying than mildew to worry about though.

We’ve got a car for the end of October (thank’s Mom!) during our week off and we’ll be heading to Philly for a little scouting out trip. Once Frank decides he likes it, I can make subsequent trips myself since I get more vacation. Another piece falling into place is that I got a call from the very nice service manager at the local Mercedes dealership and he said he would love to have Frank onboard when they get an opening. And we wouldn’t need a car as the dealership is two blocks away from the train station and in fact another employee commutes from Center City no problem, within 30 minutes. Work for me might be a little more tricky but still doable.


Sept 14

I was just curious. Because people have told me Philadelphia is a nice place for displaced Brooklynites. It seems to be that one can own a old house, in a nice historic area, for less that 8 million dollars. Strange but true. We wanted South Street Seaport lifestyle… plus car… and voila! There it is. Ok, so there are shady areas in Philly. Um… I live in Brooklyn. We have shady areas that give the term shady new meaning.

One neighborhood we’re looking into is called Queen Village. I thought it was Queens Village, which would have been very funny since we have a Queens Village here too but it’s not plural. Queen Village is named to honor the Swedish Queen, at the time, because the area was settled by lots of Swedish people around the same time that the English were settling down in Mass., 1638. The original name of the settlement was Wiccaco, which means pleasent place. So they named this very cute part of Philly to honor the original settlers of the area. Hmmm. Sweden. I like Sweden.

There are actual German people in Philly too. More than the five who live in our neighborhood. It’ll be nice for the Pumpkin to have some culture she can identify with. And Philly is close – only two hours by car and probably less if Frank drives.

So we need to “feel” what it’s like. If we get a good vibe, and we’ll know right away, then we can start planing that as a possible place besides Salem. I mean we love Salem, we really love it but it’s a little remote and we’ll need two cars. I like the idea of being in the city… just a more managable city. And I think if we own a car, which we will, then Frank will be happy there too. The BMW dealership is about 8 miles from the city which is a decent commute.

The only bad thing is the Philly ghettos. Apparently they’re bad but avoidable. And you don’t get the diversity you have here. But we can visit a lot, so close that you can do it in a weekend. I can always come home for my Middle Eastern food fix. Plus I can learn to cook. I have to get a good middle eastern and indian cookbook and voila! All set. We’d have to do that in Salem anyway.

So I need to wait to see if one of us can get a job… that will pretty much cement where we end up.


Sept 13

Saturday we went to a BBQ at Frank’s boss’s house. Very nice. the Pumpkin spent the entire time in the pool. She can now “swim” if she hangs in an innertube without any help from Mommy. She definitely has the hang of kicking and using her arms to propel herself around. We must have spent three hours in the pool so she got lots of practice.

Sunday it was a nice dinner at Mom’s place and eighteen loads of laundry. the Pumpkin got car-sick in the car so I took Monday off to clean everything up. Very nice to have a day to myself.

Yesterday… well, we ended up at the zoo. The zoo rocks when no one else is there. No lines, no people, no noice. Just happy, perky animals and us.

Back to normal today. I have a lot of catching up to do so I’ll be off now, but not before I give you a picture of our new toilet seat… or close to it. Ours is completely clear – not blue transparent and the sealife is arranged a little differently.


Sept 6

I have two photos…

First, I want to live here.

Second, this chick from Vogue stole my haircut and color.

I have ten minutes let in the day. That’s always the worst – when you don’t want to start something new. I finally made it through all the emails regarding the new work website. Everything went more or less well. My VP keeps coming over and saying the website makes him happy every time he looks at it. If anyone is curious, http://www.conference-board.org/index.cfm. It’s not pure Suzanne style, but it’s close.

I’ve decided I like the following art styles: English Arts and Crafts and Art Deco (architecture only). I’ve added a page about Arts and Crafts on my website – http://www.zansite-ny.com/siteArchive/artscrafts.html. I have also decided I am going to, one day, own a Craftsman, Gothic Revival, cottage. Even if I have to build the sucker myself. I didn’t realize until I did more research, that they aren’t impossible to come by in New England. Plus, since they’re usually very small, most people don’t want them. Ha!!! All the better for me.


Sept 5

What an ordeal! The bathroom took every bit of our three day weekend along with much patience and teamwork. In the end, though, we have something we’re both really pleased with. the Pumpkin tried her best to be a good sport. This was just a horrible weekend for her with little quality time and lots of being dragged around to various home improvement stores. Of course I don’t have pictures today. I left the camera at home.

During the course of the makeover, we learned: 1, scrapping the centuries-old paint off your bathroom tiles will make them look shockingly new. 2, old walls do not have perfectly perpendicular joins so you need to use a small paintbrush to hand detail the edge and 3, a lot of color is a very good thing. Frank also cleaned up a lot of old caulk and replaced it with Phenoseal, which is this great vinyl caulk. I hated cleaning without getting any visible results because so much was actually stained but now it’s all fresh white and pretty. The floor is still hideous. When I was at Lowe’s, I saw the nicest brown tiles, for $3.00 and we’d only need about 10 tiles because the room is so small. I figure we could redo the floor for about $100. Not like I like brown but I want something that the landlord can live with so best to go with something neutral. In any case, the rug covers it up.

We’ve decided to paint the living room entirely orange instead of just one wall because we’re so happy with the bathroom. I can’t believe how wild it turned out – so bright. I have never had a saturated hue on a wall in my entire life. It was so hard to hang things up and break up the perfect walls. After I had removed the 2 full news-papers worth of papering from the tiles, I just sat there in awe. Without the shelves and the shower curtian it was just fabulous. We went out and bought a clear shower curtian because the room is so small. But once the shelves went back up and the towels got hung, it really didn’t make any sense to leave off the shower curtian, which convieniently hides the products. In my initial basking, before all the products had come back in, I forgot how cluttered our small bathroom is. The pirate shower curtian is back up.

We just need three things to make our bathroom complete. One, is the floor. I have it all picked out so it’s just a matter of doing it, probably next year. Two, new towels. I picked out really nice gold colored ones from Target. Arg!! Pieces of eight towels!! We only need a handtowel for when guests come over because our everyday towels are fine for us. And three, a new toilet seat. I forgot to mention that while we were painting, (there is less than 4′ square feet of floor space) we had to balance on the toilet and bathtub. It was very perilous. I wore grippy sock to get extra traction. Anyway, inevitably, the seat hinges broke because you’re not supposed to stand on the toilet. We want to get this: http://www.target.com/. It may be a little pricy, but we can take it with us. It’s so unbelievably tacky that it’s cool and I think I read somewhere that you’re entitled to one tacky thing per room and still remain in the stylish relm.

Finally, I just want to commend the superhero of the weekend. Our neighbor Geoff let us all use his bathroom for showers which he was out. I have to remember to pick up a six-pack because he totally came to our hygenic rescue.


Aug 31

It’s crunch time at work. Somehow I got a new website for myself done in the middle of it. Everything is going well, so far, but tomorrow is the actual switch day so if it’s going to go kablewy, it’ll do so tomorrow. I have a new little CSS problem to work out. Nothing detrimental to the release of the public website but something I need to hack out for future reference.

The fishing is going. 10 hooks and counting. I hope something comes up, but not before my vacation in October. I need something but I need to paint my apartment more.

Speaking of hooks, I found two great books at Barnes and Noble during my lunch outting to Starbuckers for an egg salad sandwhich yesterday. One is called The Crochet Enclyclopedia and the other is The Happy Hooker. I realize this last one sounds very unsavory, and maybe that’s why I like it. It also has very cute, not grannyish, patterns. I must get both of these in the not so distant future. First, we paint! I figured out how to make really cute earrings but the nylon thread that I bought a little of, is turning out to be tricky to figure out what to do with. I have so many scarfs… I can’t get the gauge right to make a hat for the Pumpkin and it didn’t make a nice doily. I am going to try some Irish crochet roses and see if I can’t make a pillow.

An aside, I just saw a crochet lamp shade, 10″ round, in House and Garden magazine for $680. That is not a typo. The lamp shade costs half as much as my rent. I can make this lampshade… easily. It wouldn’t even take me very long. I wish I could work part time freelance, and make crafts the rest of the time. We have a few stores that I could sell through… $680 for a doily lamp shade! If I make three and sell them for half, I can cover my rent.


Aug 30

I only have time for a brief note… I’ve almost finished the new work site – http://www.bklyndesign.com. I added a whole lot of links to new crafts oriented pages. I am working on a hat for myself or the Pumpkin depending on the gauge it comes out in. I’m a maniac… besides the work stuff.

I was just chatting with Frank… this weekend might be P-Day for our bathroom.


Aug 24

The powers that be have struck again. My poor boss is so angry. I am being driven to drink, literally. We are spent. I have begun the “hunt” in earnest. We’ll see what fish bite. I am near finished. There is such a thing as being too comfortable that it becomes harmful for you. I may have reached that point.

I had a wonderful dinner with Nina last night. We’re old friends from high school. I got to see her new apartment which is three blocks away from my office. So absolutely cosmopolitan. A jewel of a domicile. She has the coolest modern sofa ever. She felt so bad for me that she treated me to a glass of wine. She also provided humorous stories which immeadiately took my mind off of work. Horray for Nina! It was just nice to see her since we rarely get together these days. Frank has a nice daddy-daughter night. I came home and they were snuggled up on the sofa watching Curious George.

In a complete aside, lately I have been thinking about water. I saw a TV show about this family that went to stay with a village in Africa. What really struck me was how they had to manage their water supply. It took a mile or so walk to get the water. Then they had to be careful nothing got into the container and contaminated it. Here I am running water to wash dishes like nothing. I use gallons to bathe. In Vermont, because of the well water, we wet down, turn the water off, lather, and then turn the water back on to rinse. I wonder how, if everyone just tweaked their water use a little bit, how we could make a difference. At the back of my mind is a vision of all the plumbing imploding. Honestly having the pipes go worries me more than terrorism. Imagine the streets filled with sewage. It’s just horrific.


Aug 23

Yay! My first client check in two years came yesterday in the mail. 🙂 Feels nice to be freelancing again. I’ll post the site when it goes live. Anyway, now the Pumpkin can have cute clothes for the fall/winter. Addicted to sewing for her, I think she needs a little sacque gown too — just like mommy’s. We’ll see. That’s a little more complicated but would be so cute…

I tried to find a picture of the model who stole my hair for the recent Vogue. No where to be found. Crap. I’ll actually have to take a photo of myself now.

Also, I do not like to be bothered while I work through lunch. If you see me eating, do not come over. I’m thinking about posting a note over my desk. I am now in a bad mood and annoyed.


Aug 22

Even my lunch is out to get me. Starbuckers used to have this fabulous egg salad sandwich with dill and havarti cheese. It’s on this great grainy bread with lettuce. I love it. It’s my once a week treat. All of a sudden, I go to pick up the sandwich and the havarti is missing. Not like just my individual sandwich either but the entire lot of them. It no longer says havarti on the label… poof, just like that. So I get the sandwich because it’s still very good and better than I can make at home and then send an email to Starbucks asking for the cheese back. The worst thing, is that I have havarti at home and had I known the cheese would be missing, I would have brought some slices in with me. Vive le havarti! Maybe I should start a campaign – I heart havarti…

I should have known it was going to be a bad lunch because this weirdo gets on the elevator and says to me, “you look cute.” I say thank you. Then he says, “i love your hair color.” I say thank you, again, and move to the farthest opposing wall in the elevator. Thank God it was only a few floors. Something really creeped me out because usually I love a compliment but this guy was really weird. My little voice was saying “run suzanne run.”

I have some humor in the workplace to report. We got this email from a rather, ok very uptight person here about the sloppy conditions of people’s desks and how the members are thinking we’re a bunch of slobs in general and for the thousands they pay, we really do need to present an orderly front for product value, etc. etc. I’ve been thinking the slobs need to get it together for years. Of course, even if you have week-old coffee cups on your desk, you’re probably saying, “that can’t be me.” I have news for you. The rats can’t be wrong. They know where the free kibble is. Clean up the old food and garbage off of your desk. I am thinking about putting a note on the intranet offering to come and help people organize their desk areas in exchange for brownies.


Aug 21

Thanks to everyone for the nice comments about the Pumpkin’s dress. It actually fits just fine if I overlap the back and lace it up over itself instead of side-by-side like a shoe. This means extra grow room. I also made the hem really long so there’re more inches that can be let out there too. I would make her a new costume every year but maybe I won’t have to. She calls it her princess dress. Score another success for the theatrical costuming book. I never cease to be amazed.

Our weekend went well. The trip to Long Island was, well, long but it was nice to see the relatives on Frank’s side that we don’t get to see too often. It was a little too chilly to swim for very long but the Pumpkin was a good sport about staying out of the pool. She spent the entire time running around Frank’s aunt’s house which is about eight times the size of our apartment. Actually, you could probably fit about 12 of our apartments in their house. It’s enormous. And the backyard is like something out of home and garden. Frank’s cousins are all very good with Zoe, since she is the youngest so it was nice for us too with the extra eyes and hands.

We all got magazines to entertain ourselves on the trip out there. I must remember to take more toys with me next time for the Pumpkin. Anyway, I got a Vogue because it’s 1,000 pages for $4.50 which is a good bargain. I am surprised to see gothy clothing, very cool platforms and orange hair. Nice to know I’m stylish. I think a trendy gnome has been spying on me and reporting back to the fashion police. What is sort of sad is that I really do love this one pair of Louis Vitton platforms and they cost more than my rent. I could care less about the name. I’d get them if they came from K-Mart and I know they do not cost nearly that much to make. Sigh… what can you do. I will scout the magazines for the eventual knock-off. Remember that Christian Laubotin strapy pair that I was in love with? I found something very nearly similar for $75 which I still too much but the point is they exist. So I have hope about this as well because it’d be nice to get a new pair of boots.

There’s lots of historic goodness since they’re covering the upcoming movie about Marie Antoinette. Beautiful photos galore. Unfortunately, there’s also a very annoying article about supposed real woman body shapes where all the examples are a size two. Dammit… Real world women are a size ten not two. I would love to publish a fashion magazine that had real women model. Lucky does do a section where they bring out a closet of clothing and have passers-by pick out outfits and get photographed. But I have a feeling they pick skinny people for it because that’s the samples they have. I hate seeing clothing that I like, go through the trouble of finding it and then try it on and it doesn’t fit right. If they put clothing on peanut shaped people like me then I would know that’s what I can wear. For example, I’m sure skinny jeans are a no-no. I remember skinny jeans in ’87. They looked good because none of us had hit puberty yet. And since models don’t look like they’ve hit puberty either, it works on them too. But add some curves and a kid or two and skinny jeans look more like sausage casings. There was one look called the popsicle and it was completely shapeless with two stick legs coming out from a huge sweater. I remember that from 7th grade too. There was some other things that were quite nice though. Nice textures, plenty of black on black. Crispy white shirts. Corsets and those fabulous boots. I think the healthy presence of gothic elements are saving fashion these days.

Anyway, we rounded up the weekend with an evening trip to the Fairway. With less people, we could let the Pumpkin run around. A good time was had by all.


Aug 16

August is just motering along here. I’m busy, but not insane, again today. Nice and quiet. Frank and I both took Halloween week off so we’re looking forward to a nice stay-at-home vacation. I like Brooklyn, in case you didn’t already know that lol, and we’re always too busy all the time to enjoy it so there’s nothing like a stay at home week to remind you why you like living there and we’re going to paint. I don’t care if I have to borrow money. I am going to do it. I can’t live any more with the nastiness that my walls have become. Frank says all the time how he can’t wait. We’re sure of the colors and luckily we can get all the things we need local. Here’s to hoping things look decent when we’re done. I must remind myself to load up on the black tea that week. We’ll need the energy.

I’ve converted Frank to tea. He drinks it all the time. He’s also really writing away in his journal. I have no idea it there’s a connection but he seems a lot more relaxed and happy.

The more I think about it, the more I like the Fairway. I think we’ll go back one day this weekend, but much earlier.

Speaking of Halloween, I have started to scope out the plan for the Pumpkin’s costume. Frank and I can wear whatever. The entire family is due for new ren-wear but we’ll do the Pumpkin this year because, honestly, it’s just easier and she uses less fabric. Plus, we’re being thrifty so we can paint and we won’t make the renfaire… Anyway, I want to make her something she can wear again if she wants to. No more cheesy costumes. I’ve been looking around for a nice ren-style costume pattern but alas, there isn’t much in her size. I have this pattern book full of scaled down costumes for the theater. Best book I’ve ever bought really and worth every penny since there’s like 200 patterns in it and it takes up no more space than a textbook. It’s meant as a guide for draping, which I’m not good at, but last time I made something, it came out very nicely and that was for me. So for the Pumpkin, since she doesn’t have curves, it should work out nicely. I plan to covertly copy and enlarge the pieces on the xerox machine during my lunch hour. Any local creative types out there who’d like patterns… let me know. Might as well share the wealth.

Wish me luck!

So far, I enlarged the theater costume template on the copy machine. That went ok. Getting her to hold still while I drape the costume on her will be another adventure entirely. The nice thing about making clothing for her is that a dress for me takes 20 yards and fabric. For the Pumpkin, it takes two.


Aug 15

Well, I had to wash my hair this morning since I went running. So far, it looks like it’s ok. The towel didn’t seem discolored. Likewise, my pillow seems ok too. Both signs on color staying on my hair where it belongs. After trying blonde for a month I am so sure I am done with that. I love orange. I hope it stays.

I got my new Lucky magazine, which is roughly the size of a Sears Catalogue. For those who might not remember, the Sears Catalogue was this enormous thing that had everything from clothing to tools that used to come in the mail in the 70s. Very cool reading when you live in the middle of nowhere Michigan, which we did. Anyway, I have already started dog-ear’ing the pages. I love fall. I love that gothic style is regularily featured. I love lots of black and white. I love plaid. Love, love, love. Fall is the only time I year I don’t want to hurl. Lucky’s No. 1 must have thing for the fall? Yup, a corset. Those snooty fashionistas are coming around to the dark side. And platforms everywhere. Wedges, conical heels, buckles, you name it. All I need is a $10,000 budget and I would be a very happy camper. I wish I could live somewhere where it was fall all the time.

Just had a meeting – work is just booming. Good thing I thrive on being busy. But no fear of overdoing it. I just took the last week off in October so I can paint and celebrate Halloween in style.


Aug 14

In honor of my new orange hair, I am making today’s entry the same color. It’s bright. It’s orange. I love it. No hopefully it won’t fade or change color.

Happy birthday silveria69! Sorry I couldn’t make it out because I am an old fart… but I will see you for stiching goodness soon. Speaking of stitching, Frank is ok with the fem invasion so we’re on for September. First he thought I was going to kick him out but I was like, no silly boy, I just want to give him a warning in case he wants to escape. I just have to pick out a day.

I’m purring along at work which is making for a fast day. I’m going to spend my lunch working on a new freelance project. 🙂 I love my new client, a horse breeder from South Carolina. They’re so nice and really liked my preview. I love when you just click with a client.


Aug 13

Thursday, I went to my company’s annual meeting. Because it’s our 90th year, the committee decided to have it on a yaght. I was a little hesitant about this plan but overruled and was left hoping everything would work out, aka no mutiny. The night before I tried on all my party clothes and found out that I’ve shrunk a bit. Unfortunately, the dry cleaner lost the insert form to one of my dresses and I couldn’t wear that one and will need to hunt down another form. So I wore the always reliable, ever elegant cheongsam. Everything went well. Got Zoe off to daycare. Got to 42nd street. Got a Starbucks… where wouldn’t you know it, Bowie’s China Girl was playing on the radio. Then I got to the boat. It was a nice big boat but honestly anything smaller than the Staten Island Ferry is going to make me seasick. Dromedine to the rescue! Damn it works. There I was, bobbing up and down like one of Zoe’s bath toys, and thinking how sick I should be and yet I wasn’t. Instead I was rather relaxed. The cruise turned out to be very nice. Seeing as no one could escape, everyone decided to have a nice time, which usually doesn’t happen at these things. And there is the entertainment of seeing everyone toasted.

Friday was a typical busy work at home day. My program was acting badly but I did the best I could. I have a fair amount of catch up to do tomorrow morning which is why I’m writing now when I should be in bed.

Saturday we went to the Bronx Zoo. This time we packed a picnic and not only saved money but actually didn’t get sick from the food.

Today was a relaxed day. I ran two miles of my two-and-a-half mile run, walking only five blocks in all. It’s not that I want to get faster but running more means I can get more into the short time I have. Then I dyed my hair a vibrant orange copper color which I am in love with. Now it is Feria and I have a bad history with that brand but I am willing to try it again and I have another back up box just in case this decides to fade. I hope now because it is the best color ever.

We decided to take advantage of the nice weather and headed down to the new Fairway supermarket in Red Hook. We really like Red Hook – it’s so nautical… old and run down. But I like it. But it would be a little rough to live here with the little one and no car. Anyway, the Fairway is unbelievable. I believe we saved a crap-load of money. The produce is nearly free. I paid $1.20 for eight bananas and the sweet potatoes are the size of cantalopes. I wasn’t quite prepared for the experience of it though. The aisles are not exacty straight. I think from a top view it would actually looked like parquet. Poor Zoe, she had to sit in the cart the entire time and she loves to actually shop. The baugette we bribed her with only lasted so long. I imagine it’s better during the day on a weekday. That song “Lost in a Supermarket” kept playing in my head over and over again. I just needed one thing and couldn’t find it. Of course that’s normal super-huge, supermarket disorientation. Come next time, we’ll have a better lay of the place. Frank had no problem because, I swear, that boy has GPS hardwired into his brain. They did have a fabulous selection of just about everything and a nice deli place and outdoor patio. They serve breakfast so I think the early shopper gets the less crowded store. Perhaps we’ll make it an early outing next time. It’s definitely worth the bus ride because they have all these vegetables I can’t find all the time at our local place. They even had our kitty litter.

And on a final note – ha ha ha pun. Frank’s cousin is this fledgling rapper. He just had a CD produced and they only charged $40 for studio time. Seeing as I only need a few hours and someone to just hit the record button, I can’t go wrong with this. So, hopefully by the end of the year, or early next year, I will have a CD. Meanwhile, I need to write out a contact. You have to watch your butt or no one else will. Then I can move on to fun things with that. I’m working on finding a venue for sometime in the fall. Resurrecting the dead horse that is my music is daunting.


Aug 9

Ah, now I get a breather. I posted the photos from our picnic outing to Govenor’s Island. Go to Picnic at Govenor’s Island to see the flash.

We really like Govenor’s Island. There are all these old buildings and houses just sitting there, empty and falling apart. We hope they do something soon before demolition is the only option. If they’d let people buy the places with some sort of renovation/partial public use clause, we’d sign right up. I wouldn’t mind taking care of a place, owning a place in NYC, in exchange for humoring tourists. Of course, the only way on or off is by ferry but we like nautical living. So for the cost of nothing, we had a nice picnic, historic stroll, live concert, and boat ride. What a bargian! We didn’t even see everything. Not that there’s much to see really but we skipped some parts. If the sun hadn’t quite been so intense, we could have stayed for longer, I think. In any case, we’ll be back before the end of the season.

A quick background of the island… it’s been a fort for the military since the 17th century, starting with a Dutch settlement. Up until two/three years ago, it belonged to the Coast Guard. Now it belongs to the Parks Department and they let people roam around on about half of the total island. It’s a neat place, being entirely self-sufficient. There are two churchs, including something out of medieval times, a pool, basketball and tennis courts, a movie theater, hospital, school, power station, and all the housing ranging from dormatory style to grand Victorian homes. It’s very peaceful and removed from the bustle of Manhattan. I want to live there. Maybe Frank and I should suggest making it a freak colony? Can you imagine all the freaks in New York, living in one place?

I can’t believe it’s the middle of August. The summer is always too short. I am happy we got to everything we wanted to do even though we’d like to have hit the beach once more. The next few weekends are packed with plans, more picnics and bbqs, which is everything summer is about.


Aug 8

In short… Friday, I went to IKEA with my sister after working my half-day. I love half day Fridays. Saturday we went to Govenor’s Island for the best kept secret free thing to do in NYC. We’ll be going back before they close up shop for the year. I have more to say about that in a few. Sunday was creative day, see cat box above. They were already making use of the cardboard box but I figured I would spiff it up a little. Yesterday I tried to make myself a new dress but failed miserably. It all comes rushing rushing. I did manage to make two new dresses for the Pumpkin. Actually sewing for the Pumpkin is a whole lot of fun. You don’t need much fabric and it goes very quickly. And now I am trying to get things done. A new flash of our weekend to come shortly as well as more commentary about that. And I might be getting a new client. Everyone keep their fingers crossed. Mama needs a new pair of shoes.


Aug 3

I can’t believe it’s Thursday. But I’m busy. The website at work is going well. Plugging away on loose ends here and there. When it comes time for it to go live, I’ll probably have to be on from home, which is still not a bad deal really. Point is, come labor day, all the fruits of my labor will be out there for the entire world to see. Or at least the people who come to get business and economic research.

Client work is picking up. I have a fair amount of work to do for a new site for my longest runnng client. Hopefully, if I remember to call tonight I will perhaps have another client to work with too. We’ll see. I could certianly use the money as well as a fresh idea to work on.

Our weekend should be nice and quiet. We need to catch up on the chores we skipped last week to do the laundry. Plus we want to picnic at Govenor’s Island on Saturday. If it’s hot, though, I am voting for heading to the public pool instead. And to kick off my weekend… a trip to IKEA to celebrate the new catalogue, which everyone has seen except for me. I got a sneak peak online but it’s not the same thing. Anyway, it should be a nice outing for the Pumpkin and I.

Oh, and before I forget… check out Frank’s new contribution… Halo Haiku!


July 31

It’s been a nice busy Monday. We also had a busy weekend. Both days involved trips to the Island. Saturday we headed to Frank’s sister’s place for a BBQ. She was very sweet and got up vegitarian vittles even though we offered to bring our own as we do these days. Zoe had a blast playing with her cousins. I don’t have to look every five seconds because the entire house is ultra kid friendly and contained. The boys thoroughly loved having her around. We also got to see the progress Frank’s dad made with his new apartment. It’s very victorian library/irish pub like. Very cosy… and manly. He did the most amazing paneling work with intricate designs.

Sunday we were supposed to hang around the apartment and do laundry but the beach sounded like more fun. So back on the LIRR we went. We got there a little late but did great hustling since we had no time to prep the night before. Frank did some relaxing and started keeping his journal. He decided that it might be nice to have a place to vent. I think keeping all that inside must be just toxic. This is one of the the reasons I have kept a journal all this time. So he’s giving it a try. I didn’t know this, but Frank used to keep a journal in school and he did very well. The benefit for me is that I no longer have to hear his complaining. It’s not that he’s particularily whiny and I can see his perspective but too much negativity really brings me down and without a way to solve the problems I get left feeling frusterated. So by the time he’s finished venting, I’m left feeling grumpy and down. So enter Mr. Journal who gets the brunt of Frank’s complaining. Today all he said was three sentences about what pissed him off and that was just to tell me about what he wrote down. I was so happy for him, that he’s found this neat outlet plus I felt like we’re sharing and I don’t emerge sad and gloomy.

Anyway, the beach was so nice. I spent a lot of time splashing the water. Zoe thinks she is swimming, although she’s really sinking. She is going to need swimming lessons really soon. We left a little early which meant we got home in time to get things in order for the week, more or less. Still, with few weeks left of summer, one can do chore anytime but the beach will be off limits in a few weeks.

August in New York always is an adventure. People do strange things when heat and humidity is applied and what people pass off as clothing is always amusing. My favorite is a tie between people who don’t wear bras but should, and thin shoes that let the bare feet actually touch the filthy sideways and passageways. And people wonder why I like platforms. It’s late… off to bed.


July 26

My last meeting went well. I have gotten great reviews for the new design. My boss let me lead the meetings and I have established myself as the key content person going forward. Yay!!! It’s been a great day.

I need to work on my corporate wardrobe. Egad… I’m afriad I will have to dust off the corp goth attire handbook. Hopefully I’ll get a promotion and can buy some key items but otherwise I think I just need to reorganize my closet and maybe get a nice jacket to keep here as a coverup. Time to grow up but only during the week.


July 25

Had a nice weekend. Frank and I are under an enormous budget lock-down so we had to keep it simple. Thankfully things like cleaning the house and going to the Museum of Natural History are free. Total money spent this weekend, $7.00. You can’t beat that. Anyway, the Pumpkin continues to amuse us greatly. She learned this song from the Laurie Berkner CD that we got her, called “We Are the Dinosaurs”. So as we were walking through the dinosaur rooms, she was singing and stomping around, having a great time. We let her pick out what she wanted to see. I love not having to rush around trying to get my money’s worth. She even made a little friend and they ran around the pacific northwest room together. We have to remember to invite a friend next time.

Yesterday I took a day off and went to slatergirl’s apartment to help her with her new baby. She’s so cute and tiny. I can’t remember the Pumpkin being that small but she was. In exchange for minimal work and assistance, I got a bounty of fabulous fabrics I can use for future ren-faire costumes. I could’ve done so much more but she was too tired to tell me what to do. We’ll go back to lend more helpful hands when the Pumpkin is over her cough.

So I’m back at work. I hit a snafu with my timeline project. I told my HR person it was going to be around $1,000 but now that I showed her the proposal, she is baulking at the $1,300 fee. Sigh… I hope I can still do this but I can’t very well make 8 costumes in three weeks. Maybe if I worked all day at home. Then I could do it but it’s late in the game. I hope everything works out. I do have an alternate plan, involving powerpoint just in case. Must get back to work on that.


Jul 21

I just got back from a picnic in the park with Zoe. She actually sat on the blanket and ate a sandwich. Times like this I treasure more than anything. I wish we could have spent more time out but we had to go shopping and then back home before the storm hit. We got a little wet but it’s like the storm wants to rain really bad, but something is holding it back… perhaps our luck because we seemed to avoid it.

Zoe’s sound asleep now. We had a rough night – she had a little tummy ache but actually barfed into the toilet. This is an improvement over barfing on me so I’m ok with it. We felt so bad about it that we let her sleep with us. Frank and Zoe seemed to sleep like little logs. I, however, got kicked continually so it wasn’t the best night. I think, although it is usually music afternoon for me, that I just might join Zoe in slumber land because I really am exhausted. Maybe I will veg and work on music with her when she wakes up. She likes to sing along and picks up lyrics really fast. It’s embarrassing but she might memorize my music before I do.

These Fridays are truely priceless. I have no idea what I’m going to do when I go back to work. Perhaps with Frank working so close to home and being able to pick her up on time, I can work late the other days of the week and still retain my half day Fridays. We’ll see. Ok – It’s too humid to think – the gears in my head are stuck. Can anyone say vegging out to a movie?


Jul 20

I did it! I ran an entire mile this morning. A little over a month ago I started to get back into the exercise routine by walking/running two miles every other morning. Then I thought, why not every day? So almost every day I’m out there. My morning run takes me into Carroll Gardens, which is the next neighborhood over, and back. I pass lots of other runners, numerous cabs, people who have to get to work early and dog walkers. It’s by no means lonely. The best part is passing the bakery and smelling fresh bread and looking into everyone’s window at their molding and architecture. Once I actually stopped and bought bread that was still hot but running home with a baguette is logitically tricky and looks really funny.

So this morning I didn’t do my usual run two blocks, walk one block method and instead I just kept running and voila! I hit a mile before I stopped to do my stretching. I could have probably done more but ever since I pulled something in my hip and it needed three weeks of physical therapy to fix, I’ve been very religious about stretching after one mile.

I have two meetings today and still need to do a fair amount of coding so I had better get back to work.


Jul 19

It’s just me and the kitties. I am so tired but waiting until Zoe is sleeping before I do my bathroom routine and head to bed myself. I’m even too tired to wash dishes.

Meeting two of the four design meetings I’m holding went well. This time I got oo’s and ahhh’s from the attendees. Lots of great suggestions I hope to implement once the major chunk goes live. There are a lot of smart people in my company. Unfortunately no one listens to them. I also am close to squaring away the contract for the side project for our big company wide meeting in August which is a large weight off my shoulders.

We found out what might be ailing Frank. Apparently one of his parathyroids have gone bizzerk and must be fished out and disposed of. We’ll find out more with additional test but he has a textbook case of hyperparathyroidism. Good news is that the proceedure is quick, uses only local, and is an outpatient proceedure and there are plenty of experts in NYC who do the job. Bad news is he’ll miss a week of work because he can’t drive. Good news is that he will feel well enough to watch Zoe so he gets a nice vacation during his recooperation time. Also good news is that a lot of his aches and pains will cease to be which is great. But first we have to find out that, that is indeed the culprit.

Other than that all is more or less well. I’m fighting the budget goblings again. I just never get a break and if I turn my back on the checkbook for one second, all hell breaks loose in my account. This is, of course, all my fault so I can’t get angry at anyone else but myself but boy am I ever sorry when it gets screwed up. I used to be so good at it but with everything going on, budgeting has just fallen to the wayside. I must renew my efforts to be more vigilant there.

Another kid at daycare is biting and one of the parents has flipped out so I compiled a collection of articles about biting and gave it to Zoe’s provider so she can give it to parents whose kids nip. Zoe was a big biter so I had already done the research. I added a copy of it to zansite-ny. I figure you never know who might be looking around for ways to stop kids from biting.


Jul 17

Aside from the heat, all is well. My meeting this morning with Europe went well. They all like the website. Then I coded a whole lot and pretty much have the entire things done. Just two pesky parts and I’m done.

We had a lovely weekend in Queens and made over $100 at our yard sale. We have lots of left over items and will probably have another sale in September. Apparently we didn’t put our signs up in the right places. Still, we did ok and have plenty left for sale part deux. We spent Sunday in the pool with Zoe and got back home in time for relaxing and dinner.

I’m looking forward to a busy but quiet week of meetings and coding.

Oh, and anyone who tried to see the a walk in brooklyn flash on the website, it’s now fixed. Thanks so much for visiting!


Jul 12

There are new headers. Click around and see!!! Plus a new photo album called “a walk in brooklyn” just in case anyone wants to know what our weekends are like. Ok, back to work for me.


Jul 11

It just dawned on me that lately I’ve been doing a lot of weekend sum-ups. Mostly, this is because during the week I have such a fine tuned schedule that leaves no room for any thinking really. I can safely say that I’m back on the running bandwagon and running/walking two miles at least every other day. I bought myself a new outfit from Target to celebrate. I realize that new sneakers really aren’t far behind either since they’ve lost that springy feeling. So between that, and adding music back into my life, I feel like my old self again.

After much delibrating and shopping, I realize that I have to make the new bedding for my bedroom. Whatever. I was not willing to spend $800 just for something acceptable. I now just need to hit up the fabric store but all in good time. First we have to paint. I updated the nesting gear page with some sites that have really cute bedding that I would love if I could afford it. The nice thing is, I’m going to have all this fabric left over from the old curtians that I can use for ren faire costumes.

I am a little sad over the recent building explosion. I don’t think anyone should ever take out their dispair on an innocent townhouse. Especially not one that’s from the 19th century. For the non-locals, this doctor just settled his divorce and the woman got a lot, like 4 million, and he wasn’t giving her the brownstone without a fight so he wrote her an email saying she could go from gold-digger to rubble-digger and blew up his four-story historic brownstone in a suicide attempt. Problem is he lived through it and if he thought his life was bad before… Strange people indeed.

Recently I’m seeing a lot of cute sundresses out there. Why a simple sundress with no lining has to cost $100 is beyond me but I am back on the sewing tip and think I even have fabric lurking around with which to make myself a new sundress.


Jul 10

Another nice quiet weekend. I spent another fabulous Friday afternoon at home instead of on the subway. I have a new routine now. I pick up the Pumpkin, we hang out, she naps and I work on music. I got another song worked out so that’s now two. More importantly, I am working on vocal practice so that means a show in the lurking future – probably fall. Very cute thing… I was practicing and the Pumpkin started singing along.

Frank had to work on Saturday so I went with my sister to Queens and did laundry and lounged around her house. Sunday we went to the zoo for a family day. Frank was feeling a little deprived so we made it just an us sort of day. We go to the zoo a lot so I don’t need to get too detailed but the highlight was definitely when the Pumpkin ran around the petting zoo, feeding the animals and singing “Oh MacDonald had a Farm” on the top of her lungs. Every time she went to another animal, she sang about that animal and what it “says”. Good thing they have ones she knows about.

the Pumpkin slept the entire way home so she stayed up a little later than normal which meant a late morning for us. She did do more or less well hurrying along and we ended up being only 10 minutes behind schedule. But with the city being full of electrocutions and building colapses this morning, strangely both related to suicides, getting in was a little tricky and slow going.

I added some new headers to http://www.zansite-ny.com. They’re all from around the neighborhood so now when people click around the site, not only do they get the usual thing, they also get a little tour of Brooklyn. I still have to get some more crafty pics up but right now music is taking presidence.


Jul 5

What a weekend! Friday was the start of my work at home Friday’s for the course of the summer. It’s great to be able to cut out the commuting time and get the Pumpkin early from daycare. It’s saving us $80 a week which rocks and I get added the Pumpkin time. Saturday we did laundry and housekeeping. I took some pictures of the neighborhood in prep for making my website more brooklyn oriented. Sunday was errand day and we treated ourselves to a nice lunch out at our favorite middle eastern place – Bedoiun Tent. Monday we went to the beach. It was awesome! The weather was perfect and the water nice. The surf was pretty mellow so we didn’t have to worry about the Pumpkin getting sucked out to sea. Tuesday was all about party prep. By the afternoon we were all ready and had plenty of time to relax before people came over. A few people bailed but by the time the fireworks started we had a nice bunch. Plus, our neighbors were MIA so we had the entire balcony to ourselves. Can’t do better than that. I stayed home today to work a half day and clean up the aftermath. My floors were completely filthy.

It’s only 2:30 and I worked a half day, picked up the Pumpkin, and cleaned my apartment. Who-hoo!

Ok – off to entertain the the Pumpkin monster.


Jun 30

It is very sad. Frank asked at his job if they could get me a Fast and they said that they are no longer making them. Even if I got the car, I couldn’t have one.


Jun 28

The past few weeks at work can be summed up as follows… Is it possible to eat yogurt with a fork? Yes, if you haven’t had time to pilfer a new supply since you no longer get to leave for lunch. That’s right folks, I am lunch at desk woman. I am never getting off my arse save to pee woman. I am super coder woman!

In the spirit of getting the job done, I have decided to make the best attempt at meeting some of my bonus goals. This means I redid the entire intranet in three weeks. What about the public site debacle you say? Well, glad you asked. I am decided that if I write “post new site or BUST” on my whiteboard, then IT WILL BE SO. That’s right. I am doing wishful dry-erase markering. I am about 30% done with it and the day is still young. As an aside FYI, our public website has over 1,200 files. I didn’t think so but I just counted the printouts of the directories. Damn, we have a lot of shite.

Needless to say I haven’t had too much time to write journal entries and whatnot. Except for two music reviews for Morbid Outlook. I did those. All the updated items are on http://www.zansite-ny.com. Speaking of the website, I’ve decided that it needs to be more Brooklyn oriented so we’re going to go out and take pictures this weekend. I want to have different headers on most of the pages, not just one for each section. I have ideas brewing in my head of the ultimate Brooklyn website but damn my lack of graphic design skills. There are so many things I love about Brooklyn – some are not illogical and emotional – some actually exist and I can take pictures of those to share what it is I like. Sort of how I see things.

I managed to get all my laundry done this past weekend. The pillows and curtians are fresh. Next weekend we have to make a trip to Target and wash the bedskirts. We also took Zoe to see her first movie theater movie. We all really loved “Cars”. So cute – a perfect movie for us to see. Zoe behaved very nicely and it’s hard for a little girl to hold still that long when the seat is trying to eat her alive. We’ll be adding it to our meger DVD collection in the near future. I sense a future Christmas present.

I am back on the cooking and running bandwagon. I can’t get out to buy lunch or smoothies or breakfast so I’m lunchboxing it. I’m saving oodles. And I ran outside in the rain this morning as punishment for missing two days. I got thoroughly soaked. I have decided that with my crappy willpower, it’s best to make it an everyday habit going forward.

It is very sad. Frank asked at his job if they could get me a Fast and they said that they are no longer making them. Even if I got the car, I couldn’t have one.


Jun 23

It’s Friday. I have a huge to do list on a post-it and will begin my multi-tasking commute home in about 45 minutes. Can I do it? No one knows but I’m going to try. I am wearing flip flops so the chances are good. I still see sun, which is even better.

It’s going to be a quiet weekend. Maybe we’ll hit the Mermaid Parade. Maybe not. I have to wash everything in my apartment so I might not be able to get away. I counting on at least 20 loads. Even the pillows have to go. A little late spring cleaning.

And that is the extent of my weekend plans. Exciting isn’t it.


Jun 21

Summer is here. It’s hot. I’m not really a summer sort of girl. I definitely have a summer cold, which sucks. I’m trying not to be bummed out about it. Crap. I thought today was Thursday but it’s only Wednesday. I’m not doing so well.

Just a little bit about not moving to Queens. To sum up, it’s just going to be way too expensive for us to go, once everything is said and done with. Then Frank tells me he really doesn’t want to give up his 25 minute commute. I don’t think I’m ready to be a stay at home mom and caregiver to three kids and most likely more. Something in my gut was saying no so I asked my mom what she thought and she said it didn’t make sense unless we were really going to benefit somehow. Decisions like this are always hard because you can’t see the outcome.

So now we can paint our apartment. But not before the party on the 4th. Oh well. It can be a partial farewell to boring walls party. I’m probably going to take a week off of work and paint the place without having to have someone take Zoe. We can sleep in the living room while the bedroom dries and just manage. Point is, those white walls days are numbered.


Jun 19

I feel crappy – too much sun coupled with too much pollen overload. I am allergy snot woman today!

Had a lovely weekend. Well, Friday was crappy. Had to go to a wake. I don’t like wakes. I feel like an intruder. But it made my coworker happy which makes it all worth it. I was so uncomfortable that I worked my stomach into knots I couldn’t get out for hours. I never know what to say and I have a habit of saying dumb things. Just horrible. When I die, I don’t want a wake, I want a party. I want to be propped up in a chair and I want to wear something fabulous – with a corset and everyone who comes has to wear a fabulous hat. Absolutely no moping, after all, I’m going to be in a great place.

Saturday was a nice cleaning day. I spent the afternoon with my sister and her friend from Vermont. Nice to hang with a girl who doesn’t mind babies and small kids (she’s a nanny). It was way too crowded in the city to be shopping but the perfect shoes were found, for my sister’s friend.

Yesterday we had breakfast with the fishes at the Aquarium. It was nice to be there before the crowds got in. We even spent a little while at the beach. By the time we were heading out, people where just streaming in. My shoe broke. I am annoyed at having to have had to buy a stupid pair of flip flops for $20. Nothing like a flip flop should be $20.

By the time we got home, it was nap time for Zoe. When she got up, we headed to the park to play in the sprinklers. Unfortunately by dinner I started to feel crappy. I still do, which is why this is written like crap. I’m off to Duane Reade to get something for my sinuses.


Jun 15

UPDATE!!! – I get to keep my torch. The site is saved! 🙂 All is well now. Looks like we’re going to get a decision very soon. And I do like it…

As a side note – I actually do like the power that is as a person. She’s amicable and pleasent and not condesending at all. Very rare in a woman exec. I think mostly the issue is that I haven’t been able to communicate with her directly and I am getting the guy-filtered version of whatever she is saying which may or may not be actually what she means. Talk about a breakdown of communication. Oh well, looks like I might get my way here. I just have to hope.

I am still dealing with strife here. I wonder, with all the micromanaging input I’m getting, why the power that is doesn’t just design the website herself? Why am I here if she can do better herself? Obviously with all the input about text and color, she must be competent to design and code a website all by herself. I have a great idea. How about the web team go on a nice vacation to Aruba for two week and leave her to finish the coding and programming? That sounds like a capital idea to me.

Thanks everyone for your support. I am getting acclimated to my displeasure so although it’s not getting better, I am dealing with it better. That, and I had a lovely dessert yesterday which always makes me feel better. And I really do love what I do, it’s just this person is driving me insane.

I took Tuesday off as a needed “I’m Mad at my Work” personal vacation day. I reorganized my kitchen and now we have a nice cabinate to devote to the emergency items we need in case we have to remain house bound for several days. Now we just have to pick up items. I have to get the list of recommended supplies. We’re in good shape just in case. I’m not too worried. The last bad storm was in 1938 and since my building survived that, I think we’d be ok for whatever is coming too. As long as the windows hold out, we’ll be fine. The place is built like a fortress (one foot thick outside walls) and being on the sixth floor does have it’s advantages. I think the BQE will make a lovely moat. I purged several boxes of primo yard sale items that will go to my mom’s place for the eventual yard sale they must have.


Jun 12

I thought I did it. I really made a fabulous website for work. My boss liked it. Other people liked it. You know who doesn’t like it? The power that is. I have had it. Obviously I do not know anything about a company I’ve been working for eight years. Obviously I need to move on. I think the power has a serious problem with using in-house people. Automatically, being in-house makes us suck. I am annoyed. It’s a good thing this is a stable position. Stability is good. My boss is bewildered too – we all are. There is comfort in commradery.

I shaved my head, partially. I like it. Now I just have to wait for the bangs to come in and voila – happy shaved head Suzanne. Frank was massaging my head last night – he likes it. I wish the bangs would get organized but I need to learn to be patient.

We had a nice weekend – caught up with chores but not the reorganization projects I had wanted to do. We went to check out an abandoned church they’re turning into condos. Yay for creative reclycing of architecture. Just fabulous – completely falling apart. I would love to have the entire thing to myself but I bet it costs a small fortune to heat. Frank got some great pictures. I’ll post them soon. Reminds me, I have to get some nice neighborhood and new building pictures taken. Mine are so old and blurry.


Jun 8

I find many things annoying this week. I’ve also been very busy at work so I haven’t had time to complain. But this morning, fueled by a big Peena Kowlauda Jamba Juice, I am ready to purge my annoyances.

Number 1 – gay marriage. Give it up people. I think the economy, war, and environment are much bigger issues. Get over it and start doing some real work that will actually benefit humanity and leave people alone to pursuit their happiness.

Number 2 – psycho Ann Coulter is just charming. How do people like that make millions of dollars? Her success means a new low as been reached in terms of what people deem socially acceptable discourse. What ever happened to manners and good taste? Oh wait, never mind.

Number 3 – does anyone else find it a little exessive that they needed two 500-pound bombs to kill one guy? Plus, it’s not like there aren’t eighty new guys to take his place. I can’t wait for them to give up on this rediculousness.

Ok… enough is enough.

We’re almost done with week one of severe budgeting in response to Frank’s speeding ticket fines of DOOM… dum dum dum… I think this week we spent like $25. Our usual budget is around $200 so we’re doing really well. Still, things will have to be rearranged because the stupid Nassau traffic courts only gave us a month to pay the fines off. Annoying. They take 7 years to let us know about the tickets but want their money in a month. The joys of marriage are that one person’s speeding tickets become both your speeding tickets. Frank promises he will never drive over 55 again.

At least we have some fun, free things to do. This weekend is food shopping at the new Fairway and a tour of an old church that they’re turning into condos. We get to see what the inside looks like before they make any changes. The place has been abandoned for years so it should be an op for some great photos.

Next weekend, for Father’s day, we get to go to the aquarium early because we’re members. It’ll be a nice family day with lots of sea creatures. Maybe if we’ve been good, we can splurge for a nice brunch by the ocean. Also, we want to check out Govenors Island which is also a free activity. So we have plenty to do even though we’re broker than broke these days.

I’m using these weekends where we can’t go out and do things to really catch up with things at home. I’m purging the apartment in prep for painting or moving, which ever, and the creation of the emergency survival cabinet which will hold supplies for three days. So far I’ve found that Indian packaged food (no msg) is great without warming it up and mixed with beans, a sustainable meal. Plus it comes in small, easy to stack, boxes. We already have both a flashlight and a lantern and board games. We just need to make room for the other things and we’re all set. The nice thing about being on the six floor is that we don’t have to worry about flooding. Our building survived the last whopper storm in 1938 so we’re pretty confident as long as the windows hold, we’ll be ok. And our kitchen is centrally located and has no windows so we have a safe place to hang out. I hate thinking about armageddon. But I want to try my best to have a plan.

I finished a website for my cousin’s band. They’re so cute – little rocker chicks. I tried to make something punky for them but it ended up looking somehow refined. They like it though which is all that matters. Plus, once they get some photos I can fix it.

Work is irritating. I’m trying to stay perky about it. The powers that be are now pulling this crap that the website should look exactly like a publication which isn’t that great looking to begin with. Plus print and web are two different mediums. What works for one, doesn’t work for the other. And the pubs are duotone. Blech. I explain this to my boss who knows… then he has to run back to the power. And I am wondering why the heck am I not in these meetings. He tells me that the power that is, is afraid of big groups. Maybe it’s because she is telling a different story to everyone and doesn’t want us all to call her on it. Hmm… interesting and probably true. Still, no one is really telling me what to do these days. It’s more like suggestions and so minor the site still looks like something I did.

And I need a haircut so bad. Really, really bad. I am tempted to leave work early… maybe I will do just that…


Jun 5

Back to work… nice and quiet. No updates in the Queens move thing. We’re leaning towards staying in Brooklyn so it’s up to Mom whether she really needs us there or not.

Thursday we found out that Frank has to pay 1,100 for some stupid speding tickets that are like 9 years old. Horray for us – NOT!! Then on the way home we got stuck in the rain. A very bad day.

Saturday, I headed out to Katy’s for Carly’s baby shower. Thanks to Frank’s trusty diaper cake transporter, made of Fresh Direct boxes and a bungee cord, it arrived more or less in one piece. Rain and diapers don’t mix so I was rather apprehensive but it all ended up ok. The party was very nice – good people, good food and I think we gave Carly a good sendoff into motherhood. Btw, these are all people I know from the NYC-freaky people outings list. Over the years they have become good friends that I’m happy to have. 🙂 I’ve always had guy friends and now I sort of have female friends and it’s a new thing for me. Anyway, there was even a 3-D duckie cake. It was absolutely marvelous. I have no idea how it worked out – completely cooked through. Defies logic but then again, I can’t cook. I now know who to talk to when a super cute cake is needed.

I stayed up too late both nights. I have to go to bed earlier this week. Saw The Machinist which I couldn’t just wait to finish the next day – late, late. Last night we watched The Cell so we could return it to our neighbor – more late, late. I was too tired to run this morning but now am sure I can get up at 6 am, run and still make it in time for work. Can anyone say getting back in shape?

Yesterday we thought we’d go for a ride on the Ferry (discount urban cruise) but it didn’t work out so we headed to the seaport which was teaming with undesirables and loud, annoying music so we ended up walking home. I love walking through that area. Frank and I coveted several buildings on various cobble stoned streets. We are now sure we want to live in a house/apt building, that is at least 150 years old, near water and on a cobble stoned street. We just have to find that, in a place where we can afford it. We’re close – our building is 130 years old and overlooks water. We do like in Cobble Hill, which is like cobble stone… Actually, just across the BQE is a street called Tiffany Place and they have lovely apartments and a cobble stone street.


May 30

It was a nice weekend – relaxing in Queens with the family. Nice extra day off with Zoe. Finally got my Mom’s thank you cards done. Instead of happily musing about the weekend, I have a huge decision looming.

I love Brooklyn. I love my apartment. I love my job. I love exactly right where I am right now. I could be happy if this now lasted for a few years, ok for forever. So what is the monkey wrench? Why a monkey wrench? My gears are turning… not stopping. But anyway…

My Mom has a two-apartment house in Queens. It’s nice and big – has two bedrooms, backyard, laundry, new kitchen, nice, nice, nice. We love going there. My sister lives below in a one bedroom. The idea is that my mom really doesn’t want to go through the trouble of formally renting it out and she needs daycare for my niece. Here’s the idea. We would move there and live rent free in exchange for me taking care of my niece, at first part time and then in the fall of 2007, full time. I’d hope to work some freelance during that time just to keep in the loop of things and for extra money.

We’d get a bigger place and a possibility to have another child, which we’d like to do. I’d miss Brooklyn… but we can visit. My commute would be longer, except I just found out about the express bus so maybe not. And I’d work four days a week – from home two and go in two.

Of course, I love Brooklyn. I love my neighborhood. I never want to leave it. I want to be buried there. It’s impractical but that’s how I feel. I have a totally illogical attachment to my apartment building. My email is bklynwebgrrl – so there you have it. Therefore it is really up to my mom and Frank because I cannot be trusted to make a logical decision.

Zoe will be uprooted. But she will gain a sibling and have much more mommy time. We can also have playdates and probably I will take in another child to help defray costs so it’ll be a nice full house. She starts school next year anyway and is so young.

No decision where all outcomes would be ok is easy. It’s easy to divert from a bad thing but what if both paths are sunny and bright. The key here is what is best for my mom. Zoe will have family nearby and a sibling. The school is great. She’ll have her own room, at least for a little while and a private backyard with kiddie pool in the summer. Her mommy will not be trying to juggle eight hats and will be totally devoted to her.

I will still work. Part time and then freelance. I could go back to school once the kids are older and start a new career. I could become a professional organizer which I would love to do and anyone who knows me knows that is a perfect fit. I get a piano. I will get to spend more time with Zoe. I can help my family out, especially my mom who has helped me so much. And I have to leave Brooklyn eventually. Why not to somewhere I know – and still in New York City.

Frank will be the same. He likes to drive. He likes to do yardwork. He likes more room. We’re closer to his family who is much more likely to visit now.

Mom has to tell me if I am really helping her or making her life worse. It’s her decision really since we’re on her graces really.

But it’s a suburban lifestyle and that will be a big adjustment for me. I will become a full-time mom and caregiver and I don’t like kids but maybe since I have Zoe, they’ll come around. But you know… it’s an adventure.


May 25

Where did I go? First, my mouth hurts. I took painkillers – they make me feel crappy. Then on Tuesday I got my tooth yanked, after over six months of pain. Not the most pleasent experience of my life but the troublesome tooth is history. Two days later I still hurt but not enough to keep me from working. But I refuse to go out because it looks like I’m packing a golf ball in my cheek so I am working from home.

On top of that, my glands are swollen and I have a rash which happens when I stress out or have semi-tramtic experiences. And I’m bloated and crampy because I am a woman and my overies are roaring.

So I am miserable.

Oh, and there are fighter jets flying overhead and it sounds like Top Gun in my living room. Scared the crap out of me until I called 311. One, a big properler type, was so close overhead that I could see the rivets in the bottom.


May 17

Sunday, during our brunch, Zoe ordered her own lunch. We reviewed the menu, decided what she wanted and then when the waitress came, she ordered for herself. Including please and thank yous. Then yesterday she went into the bakery, asked the guy for a croissant and then thanked him when he gave it to her. I was completely not involved and didn’t even prompt her. Already so independent. I just wish she would get the potty thing down. We’re very close.

Today is Jamba Juice day. So happy. I love it. I have a sneaky suspicion I got the wrong one though. Oh well – still super tasty although I have no idea what sort of boost I got.

I finished the website for my Grandmother’s social club. Hopefully they like it. I have to organize some plans. I have to paint the apartment. I need to have my eyebrowns plucked. I need to clean out my closet. My Grandmother is coming in two weeks. I might be able to combine a nice home visit with purging the closet. I just want quiet time. Hmm…

I want to go to Contempt on Saturday – see old friends, celebrate eight years, four of which we’ve been going. So far I’m having a little tricky time getting a sitter. The other kicker is that I’m trying to wake up early and get back into a running routine. This means I have to wake up at 5:45. Sounds early, but I’m in bed by 10 at the latest so it’s really not that bad. I think with the extra boost exercise gives me, I can get away with 7 hours of sleep. Anyway, it’s not the time to start pulling an all nighter basically. I don’t know… what’s one night? Mute point without the sitter. Dilema, dilema, dilema.

Oh well, had better get started on the day.


May 16

My weekend was nice. Mother’s day began a little stressful. Getting into the city by 9 a.m. is hard enough on the week for just me but dragging nose-bleeding Zoe and a morning-not-liking Frank along was difficult. We made it with time to spare, got Zoe’s number and waited for her race to begin.

She did excellent and could have run a lot more than 150 feet. Some of the other kids kept on going too. My sister scouted a playground for us and we waited there while my mom finished her half marathon. Then we headed to a nice diner-like place for brunch. I ate the entire thing.

Our afternoon was quiet. We had already done all the chores so when we got home, I sort of crashed and slept for 2 hours while Frank played with his new MySpace. My sister came over for dinner and we turned in early.

So far the week has been normal. Nothing nutty to report. I am absolutely disguested about that entire rapper DJ guy who threatened that other DJ’s child with vile acts. And all the shootings… what is wrong with these people? I was going to write more but why toxify myself with evil and angry thoughts. Breathe…

I do have a little sad note. I think they discontinued my haircolor. And I used the last box I had stashed away over the weekend. I wrote the company imploring them to re-release the shade. I get so many compliments. I think the problem is that many people didn’t know about the shade so maybe it didn’t sell so well. There is nothing like it – nothing as easy and long lasting. No raspberry head. All the other reds are too blueish and dark. I will be forced to do Manic Panic and buy all orange sheets and never wear a white shirt again. I am really bummed out about this. Part of having short hair is the fun of having a bright hair color and they just took mine away. Bastards!! I should have stocked up more when I had the chance.


May 11

By now you must know that I really enjoy learning about especially talented people who don’t have to act modest but do. I feel being a creator is something to be greatful for, not boastful about. Not everyone sees the world in a creative way. Not everyone can make something new out of something else. So if you can, you should pretty well be greatful for it. You will most likely never have to suffer through bordom, which is only one benefit of the creative process.

Also no moping about being misunderstood. Unless people are throwing your projects out the window or throwing rotten fruit at you when you perform, you have nothing to complain about. Even one admirer is an admirer. Rejoice in your creativity! Who-hoo!!!

Today as I was perusing The New York Times, online, so I can save a tree, I tripped over an article about a certian Mr. Viktor Schreckengost. Mr. S. is a long time designer, whose work Jazz Bowl just reaped $254,400 in a recent auction. I’m reading the article and I find out that Mr. S. redesigned delivery trucks, children’s toys and housewares. He’s a smart cookie who holds something like 100 patents. He’s also 100 years old this June. During his career he strived to make good design accessable to everyone, often working his original ideas down into affordable versions. Sound familiar?

Sounds like IKEA philosophy to me. Sounds like Martha Stewart too. We hate Martha but I can’t do without her ideas for children’s birthday parties. Not to mention it, but all the Martha projects I’ve ever done have come out great. The directions are totally Suzanne-proof. I don’t want to like Martha but I like whoever comes up with those projects and ideas.

The thing about Mr. S. is that he’s so unpretentious. I admire that so much because now designers are like celebrities. Lots of ego floating about. I think a designer should remember that their clients let them come into the innermost sanctums of their minds. Designers have to feel what the client feels in order to best represent them visually. It’s your responsibility to do you best and also remember that it’s a priviledge to be given insight into someone’s being. You’re only a medium really.

Perhaps the artist types who come up with things for themselves are more-so than artists for hire but really, you’re nothing without someone to appreciate you. I always liked best when someone would tell me they could really relate to a song. Honestly, it’s like the icing on the cake. For most of my life I wrote music for myself, really, to exorcize demons and to keep from killing people. And it always was fulfilling. But once I started to play out it was amazing to connect with people even though the process of actually publically performing makes me physically ill.

Thus inspired, I am going to strive to be more modest and remember that doing arts and crafts for a living is a priveledge.


May 9

I just noticed a funny thing. When my livejournal buddies use their self-portrait icons, they all have different hair colors and it’s like a mini-rainbow ad for Clairol. Mmmm fun stuff.

Everything domestic is good. Frank is finally antsy for painting… it will happen soon. We just need to have Mom take Zoe for the day. Maybe some place fun like the Zoo. But she’ll have to wear the leash. I don’t want anything to happen and it will be the first time she’s away from me for that long. And she can really dash quickly. I want her back safe and sound. Not like I don’t trust my Mom but she’s not used to dealing with Zoe’s sneak attacks.

Work is driving me nuts. I can’t meet with the people who make decisions. I think I just scare them. And so I get directions second and third hand and then I make changes which don’t seem to work for the people I can’t meet with but who hold my design in their hands. I don’t know what they want, because I can’t talk to them. I feel like I am in a secuded box. Then, to make matters worse, a certian someone here took my idea and presented it as his own. Grrrr… that’s horribly unethical and very wrong. Sneaky bastard. Good thing I have my original versions from over six months ago. Good thing my boss knows the deal. Good thing I have a sense of humor and patience and consider theft of an idea sure indication of my creative superiority. The proof is in the pudding.

And there is my hair. The stupid lady at Jean Louis David did indeed screw it up. Crap. I told her no blend. I said just shave and trim. Then I saw her blending. Ach!!!! And then I saw uneven blending on the sides. Thank God for product. This brings me to the everlasting question of what to do with it. Perhaps I should grow it out. Everyone likes the 1940’s ish look on me and it works. But I’m getting past the age of aggression and will have to settle down soon enough so why not have the shaved do while I still can? I just worry that it keeps people from taking me seriously. If I was a guy, there would be no problem but women with shaved heads, even partially, still sort of freak out the corporate types. And I need a promotion really bad. Still… I’ll be old and farty soon… so few moments to really push the envalop.

Why must apperence be a philosophical debate with me? There are the girls who look all normal and they don’t think about their soul’s manifestation in their hair. They just cut it because it looks trendy and nice and like everyone else. But for me it’s a struggle to somehow get the outside of my person to look like what’s going on in the inside. I am a walking contradition I think. Contradictions are hard to dress.

Ok – I have to venture to the bank and deposit money. Silly thing to have money and not put it in.


May 8

The best thing about being a web designer, is that you can look busy when you’re updating your blog, for example. We had a nice busy weekend – hair cuts for everyone and a fair amount of shopping. A very cute picture of Zoe for the homepage is coming soon. I am writing thank you cards during my lunch. I vow not to pussy foot with these going forward.

I was looking at my screensaver and discovered something. My Fast has a round tail. Hmmm… what has a round tail? A bunny!!! That’s right. It has long ears too. And bunnys do go fast. Of course my Fast is black and tells me to ignore backseat drivers, passenger comfort requests and policemen and other authority figures. My Fast might be goth… must muse on this a while longer.


May 5

Ahhhh – Many good things happened today, so far. One, I got my Jamba Juice without having to wait on line. Everything went excellent with the anniversary party here at work. The pictures look much better than the ones from Tuesday but still not perfect. I’m working out the details. Some are really decent. Then, while I was downstairs helping out, my new shoes came. Yay!!! Then faced with a very busy weekend and knowing that asking Zoe to behave through two haircuts is asking too much, I went to Jean Louis David to get my haircut. The lady had a hard time understanding that the bangs need to be long, the back needs to be shaved and there is no blending going on. It’s two haircuts lady – just get rid of it and leave the bangs. I’m ok with it. It was nice to have a nice shampoo and a relaxing lunch because I didn’t have to worry about Zoe climbing up the walls. She’s a good little girl, really, but a two year old is incapable of sitting still for very long. You can’t make them. It isn’t fair. Remember when you were a kid and you’d see your parents sitting around a table chatting with their friends and thought to yourself, God how boring not to be playing with toys? Yeah, that’s what she’s thinking. OMG – waiting for mommy and daddy to get haircuts is the most boring thing ever.

She, herself, has an appointment at LuLu’s Cuts and Toys tomorrow. We love LuLu’s. They can get her to sit and behave and they do a great job on her hair. Plus she gets a balloon. I wonder if I should have had them do my hair too? And Frank will get his done afterwards at our usual place.

I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend. 🙂


May 4

What do the following songs have in common?

Steve Miller – “The Joker”

Helen Reddy – “Angie Baby”

Terry Jacks – “Seasons in the Sun”

Cher – “Dark Lady”

Ray Stevens – “The Streak”

Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods – “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero”

John Denver – “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” and “Annie’s Song”

Paper Lace – “The Night Chicago Died”

Paul Anka – “(You’re) Having My Baby”

Olivia Newton-John – “I Honestly Love You”

Carl Douglas – “Kung Fu Fighting”

Give up? They were all released in 1974 and are considered by many, to be the worst songs ever written. That’s right, 1974, the year of the dud. From CNN, “Rock critic Greil Marcus pithily sums up what led to 1974. ‘One thing leads to another until all alternatives feel unthinkable,’ he says via e-mail. ‘Or,’ he adds, ‘we could say it was a conspiracy by Malcolm McLaren to set the stage for the Sex Pistols.'”

Today I beat the MySpace code gobblins and got something up that looks at least somewhat unique. Still annoying. How am I supposed to guess what stylesheet classes they use?


May 3

It’s sort of late to be writing about the weekend but it’s been a crazy week. Saturday we borrowed mom’s car and headed out to Long Island to spend some quality time with Zoe’s pop-pop and check out his new apartment. He lives in the basement apartment of this really cute house in Massapequa. Nice place. Quiet and a spit’s distance from the LIRR but very quiet anyway. We stayed there for a while discussing paint choices for his bar area, which will be painted before we get to our apartment no doubt, and then headed over to see Frank’s friend Chris who we haven’t seen in a year or so. More chatting and catching up.

Then we took in dinner at IHOP. Zoe is getting better at restaurants. It’s hard with a toddler but the place was swarming with kids, all noisy and all making messes so we blended in. Then we headed back to Mom’s place in Queens for a quick freshen up before going to Melinda and Jeff’s place for a house party.

We’ve been meaning to visit for a while but finally got mom to watch Zoe so who-hoo! Party for us. It was very nice. They have a cute place with her family so it’s like they have an entire house to themselves sometimes. Their apartment is in the top floor and has this really neat sloping ceiling which is high enough so it’s like a cathedral effect. So cool. Lots of IKEA, and we all know how much I like meeting other people’s IKEA. Meinda’s brother has this huge studio in the basement with more wires than I’ve ever seen bunched together. I am amazed that they could just sit there and work on things while other people were lurking around just doing their own things. I need to be alone when I work. Neat stuff they were working on too — circuit bending I think they called it. I miss working with other people. Such energy.

We also chatted with lots of people we haven’t seen in quite a while which was really nice. Some people haven’t changed and some people have. I don’t know why I am shocked to find out people are married when I’ve been for years and we are getting older and it’s to be expected. I guess somewhere in my head I still see us all as 21 year-olds. We stayed until 4 a.m. which we haven’t done in years. Kudos to both Melinda and Jeff for being wonderful hosts. 🙂

I got barely 4 hours of sleep when I was awoken by Zoe’s footsteps on the floor upstairs. Mom and Dad do not wake me up in the morning but I hear her and I can’t get back to bed again. We had a relatively leisurly morning with pancakes, thanks mom!, before heading out to the Botanical Garden for the Cherry Blossom festival. The best thing about a May birthday is the flowers. Anyway we had a little snafu with the lack of parking and we were running a little late so I went ahead in while Frank searched for parking. Seeing the crowds, I completely expected to not be able to meet up with anyone but lo and behold, after a little while everyone managed to find us and before long, we were a nice big group just hanging out under the cherry trees. So nice and relaxing. Except for Zoe. She was completely bonkers. We all took turns watching her except for Carly who is incubating and does not need to be running after a toddler, my sister who has her own to run after and my mom and step-dad who kept dissapearing here and there. I would have liked to see more but I left my map and itinerary in my briefcase at home and seeing the crowds it was going to be difficult with Zoe. She did sit and watch part of the sameri fighting and the kyoto players setting up.

Then Mom and John, my sister, our friend Sharon and her boyfriend Ron all headed back to our place for Fatoosh. Sharon and Ron stayed for a while after dinner until Zoe’s bedtime and then headed out.

Monday was, as you might remember, my day to paint the bathroom. I ended up not painting. Instead we had a nice family day that involved the Central Park Zoo, a nice row on Turtle Pond, lots of walking and dinner at Pizzaria Uno at the Seaport. Frank was so sneaky and had the waiters come out and wish me a happy birthday. It’s especially funny because I was getting everything together and was trying to gather up Zoe and he was like sit down and relax and I was like no I want to get going. I would have been mortified except that they came with a cheesecake. I can endure anything for cheesecake. Cute that Frank did something special. 🙂 We didn’t mean for it to be a late day but it was.

Actually today I am so beat. I have to get into bed at a reasonable time tonight. Dirty dishes be damned. Tonight I sleep!

Part Two:

I am crashing big time. No amount of Jamba Juice can help. I need caffiene! My awesome sister is bringing bubble tea and snacks. Meanwhile, this week is the beginning of the anniversary celebration here at work. My photos were a big success. My photography of the event was, well, a little blurry. I have no idea how to use my camera. I know it can take better pictures than that. Frank and our neighbor Geoff promised to help me since I have to take some more on Friday.


Apr 28

When my project for my company’s anniversary celebration is finished, I am going to miss these outings. I went to Kim’s Video to rent some period films and although they had a nice silent film section, when it came time to check out, the guy informed me that I would have to leave a non-refundable $150.00 deposit. GASP!!! Apparently, you need to do this in order to have an account if you don’t have a credit card, which I don’t have. As long as you have the account you have to leave the deposit. Then if I want to close the account and get my money back, I have to wait two business days. I’m like, whoa, a store as big as Kim’s can’t come up with $150.00? Total film rental Nazis.

Since I was in the neighborhood, sort of, I walked up to ABC Carpet and Home and picked up some incense since we finished up the last of our stash camophaging Clutch’s dirty tank smell the day before I finally got to Pet Menu to get new filter supplies. ABC had a less than stellar selection but I got a super nice shopping bag which probably cost more than my purchase. Then I headed across the street to Illuminations and picked up my mom a mother’s day present. Then I hopped back on the train and went to the big public library on 5th, but not before buying some very yummy cookies from the Union Square greenmarket. I have to remember not to eat all of them and save one for Zoe and Frank.

I was ever so much more closer to my Ghostbuster’s experience because at least this time the library was open. However, that location doesn’t have movies so I had to return to the literary inferno across the street to get the movies. I do not have a glowing report about the organizational structure of the movie section of the public library. Nevertheless, I did get appropriate movies with soundtracks which solves both the period movie and music quandry. Who-hoo!!! I was running a bit over with my outing so I took a bus back to work. Not like I have a whole lot to do but I had been gone for a while. I didn’t even get any email in my absense. No one loves me.

Strange thing, now that I have bought shoes I would think that I no longer need to look in the stores. But I still have this urge to look in anyway and I tell myself, no, my shoes are coming next week, knock that off. I know I no longer need to go shoe shopping but my conscience is on auto pilot. I am drawn to the shoes.


Apr 27

In one day I found a decent red lipstick and sandals. Two things that had elluded me for months, literally. Thanks to everyone who offered support and advice or at least didn’t make fun of me.

The latest New York magazine is devoted to Brooklyn and the very cool place it is. I love it. Of course I can’t afford any of the things in there and the apartments featured are a little too modern for my tastes. What I love is the ideas of it all. Taking a garage and turning it into a live/work space is a great idea. Taking garbage and making something out of it or just taking things in general and making them your own. I would love to take something ratty and abandoned and turn it into a great home. Brooklynites tend to be sensitive to the overall affect their renovations will have on the block which is nice. Not like my mom’s neighbor who took his brick row house and gave it a neo-roman facade in cantalope. It has columns in a creme color, two victorian lamp posts, and considering it’s a rowhouse and everything is supposed to look the same, it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Completely ruins the property value. Anyway, no one would do that in our area thank God. Reason why I love Bklyn number 842.

Our new neighbor Geoff is so cool. He does beautiful photography. I have no idea why but I know so many great photographers. Anyway, he painted his apartment gray and maroon. So cool. He took our old bookcase and gave it a facelift and a new home. He’s been here for like a month and we’ve been here for 6 years and our place is still not painted! I can’t believe we’re being so pokey. We have to paint in the very near future. I can’t take it anymore. I wonder… can we do it in one day? Perhaps moving the furniture with Zoe around and then just having someone take her out for the day while we paint, not even overnight and then put the furniture back the next day while she watches Disney. The bathroom we should do with her around since it’s so small and really a one person project. We’re not doing any ceilings because we only rent the place. I am renued. The apartment will get painted.

My plans for the weekend are all set. We’ll do a quick clean and laundry Saturday morning and then head out to Frank’s Dad’s place for lunch. Then back to Queens to College Point. Then we’ll have a nice dinner with the family and then Frank and I will go off to a house party to visit some cool people we haven’t seen in years. Then back to Queens. Sunday we’ll have family breakfast and then head to the Botanical Garden for some cherry blossom goodness. I hope to get some good pictures. Then we’ll have a nice relaxing evening back in the ‘hood. Yay! Monday, which is technically my birthday, I’m going to IKEA to get Zoe her new bed. She’s a big girl now and is ready to move on from the crib. She’ll also get new bedding. It’s very exciting and it’ll be a nice surprise for her when I pick her up from daycare. I expect next week to be difficult as she figures out she can hop in and out of bed herself. I also expect her to want to sleep in our bed because of the easy access.

Ok, today I actual have to get work done.


Apr 26

More photo albums on my website. Who-hoo.

So quiet. Not much to do. Finishing up little projects here and there. It’s so nice to relax because one they make a decision on this website, I am going to be working like a madman.

I decided to go to Sephora and find, for once and for all, a decent red lipstick. Sephora seems like a good idea but unless you know what you’re looking for, it’s very overwhelming. The boom boom boom music in the background didn’t help. I headed over to the Mac counter in Saks. I hate Saks. They’re so super rude. But I decided perhaps given that I look like I can afford a $12 lipstick, as opposed to a $4,000 wedding gown, maybe the attitude will be different. Everything was going well until I had a slight argument with the very gay salesguy about what is a red color and what is a pinkish color. He had darkish skin and is trying to tell me that think pink color is what all the 1940’s looking chicks are wearing. I’m like no sir, that is just not going to work on my skin tone. Can anyone say Joker? Sorry buddy. I ask for something else. He humors me and voila. Chili is the name of my new lipstick. Funny, the last one I got was also called Chili. Perhaps I should stick in the realm of peppers? Anyway he’s telling me this is rust colored. Um… ok. Just put my red lipstick into the bag and everyone can be happy. I got this very cute little shopping bag for my one lipstick. I should have passed and saved a tree but I felt I deserved the bag for dealing with lipstick sales guy drama. How can someone who doesn’t wear it, sell it? I’m going to give the bag to Zoe because it’s just her size.


Apr 24

Ahhhh what a perfect morning! Zoe and I made it to daycare before it started raining which is always a good thing. She’s really slow when it’s raining and she has to manage an umbrella. Even though it was raining, I got to use my leopard print umbrella which makes me feel pretty so that’s ok. I got another fabulous Jamba Juice smoothie with added engery boost – mmmm. So good. My new thing is Jamba Juice. No more Starbucks… no more donuts. It’s all about the Jamba Juice baby.

I’m on to a new shoe dilema. Is it ok to wear dark brown, like nearly black, sandals with black pants? I mean, I only have one pair of black pants. And black makes my feet look so pale. Dark brown would be better and I’ve seen people mix black pants or skirts with brown shoes. What is the consencous?

I got my old Luichimys back from my sister so now I have alternating pairs which is nice since the smaller ones look better with short pants and skirts and the bigger ones look better with the pants.

Photos from the auto show are up: http://www.zansite-ny.com/photoalbums/autoshow2006.html — It’s a big page so it’ll take a few seconds to download.


Apr 23

Super sleepy. Such a nice weekend. Went to the auto show on Saturday. I already created a flash of the photos we took and will add it up tomorrow as well as the photos from Easter. Frank got completely overwhelmed and bolted, leaving me with Zoe who dragged me around behind her, by the leash. Anyone who feels bad for the kid on the leash obviously hasn’t been a parent being dragged by a two year old. He did get to check out more than I did, but he missed great moments. My personal take on the entire thing is that if it’s got four doors and a hatchback and it’s small, I like it. I also like two seaters. Mazda had this really cute one. And the orange. I love the orange color. I had previously hated the Prius but I sat in the back this time and it’s like a cavern in there. All of a sudden I think it’s great because Zoe will have the best view. I love the Mini’s. I want one. But my favorite… was the Fast. I want a Fast so bad. However, the Volkswagon guy said I would have to buy the GTI to get one. Frank is going to see if he can get one from me from his job since they sell Volkswagons too. I must have a Fast. At least I got a picture with the Fast.

Today we had to do chores and it was really raining so of course we went to Target. Ended up having to take a cab home. Then, once we had already done the laundry, it stopped raining. We took a nice walk to the hardware store to get potting things to replant our cacti. Unfortunately our Ficus might be on the way out. I swear, I can kill anything. But the cacti are ok and we might look into more varieties that are really user friendly. I can remember to water, I write that down, but I can’t check every single day for this and that. I just have too much on my plate. The idea of faux has come to mind.

From there we got snacks at this Mexican place we’re been dying to try for a while now. Nice outdoor, Zoe friendly eating. One of those places that really takes you somewhere else. She was almost human. We did some window shopping afterwards during which I found an almost acceptable pair of sandals. Still pricy so I have to mull it over. We topped our walk off with some Ben and Jerry’s then headed home where Frank did the dishes, I replanted my cacti and folded laundry, and Zoe watched Snow White for the 80th time.

I love a full weekend. Interesting highlight. We noticed the price of gas and for the first time ever, Frank said he was happy we didn’t have a car. We’ll probably do the Zip Car thing a little down the road.

Ok, now I must go to sleep. Spending far to many nights up late.


Apr 20

Ahhh. Now I have a moment while I eat lunch at work. A few really neat things have happened in the past couple of days.

One: Easter Weekend

We spent the day with my family in College Point. Because of scheduling, we had dinner on Saturday, which was great. No need to rush home. Mom cooked a great meal with plenty of veggies for us. I ate too much dessert. Sunday we did the church thing. Zoe freaked out when all these strangers came up to her. Once I got her calm, there was this room in the back with toys and whatnot and even another little girl to play with. We headed home and did the traditional egg hunt, movie on zansite-ny.com, and after a leisurly dinner, went home. Unfortunately, Zoe had a bit of a rough night. Her ear infection is back along with vomiting – lovely. I stayed up late cleaning up.

I took Monday and Tuesday off to allow Zoe to have some calm time and feel better. She’s mostly ok, but the ear infections are so nasty. By Tuesday afternoon, we were both a little restless so we met up with my sister and Rose and went to the aquarium. I love the aquarium. So close, so small, so perfect for a little kid. Our goal was to find the octopus but unfortunately he was on holiday, or so we hope. That’s the story I told Zoe anyway.

My step-brother’s wife had their baby!!! A little boy, which we knew already. They named him Noah Michael. I can’t wait to see pictures. It’s going to be awesome for Zoe to have so many cousins her own age. I didn’t have any. My nearest cousin is only 20 and then it’s like 17. I’m so eternally old and farty in my generation. Anyway, it’s nice for Zoe to have people her own age to play with at family gatherings. Both mom and baby are doing very well. Apparently she had a model labor and delivery.

I had so much to catch up on yesterday. I hate missing work. It’s like gnomes dump extra things on my desk when I’m not here to head them off. Today, I got a lot done which feels much better. I think since I am no longer bothering with the shoes, I have all this extra energy.


Apr 19

I had to stay up late and do bills. Yuck! But at least they’re done.

Had a lovely Easter weekend. Zoe found all the eggs. We made a movie MPG which is on http://www.zansite-ny.com in the movie section.

I have given up on the shoes. It took a few days of not going into a shoe store but I think I’ve broken the obsession.

Frank and I think we can paint the apartment in one day. Hopefully this will enable us to do it sooner rather than later. We’re all set on the colors… just have to do it.

I’m too tired to write more.


Apr 12 – part 3

Why don’t they come in black??? Why brown?? Would it kill them to make a sandal in black? I found a few in my price range but they’re brown. Arggghhhhh – I will not spend another summer with sweaty swamp feet. On the up side, those Kenneth Cole reaction pumps I wanted are on sale, half off.

I’ve started sending emails to all the people who make the shoes I like in the wrong colors. Maybe the black versions will be released soon… there is one awfully dark brown… damm.

Frank likes all my new clothes. 🙂 One outfit cost me a whopping $35. Such smart shopping for me. 🙂 Need shoes though…


Apr 12 – part 2

What I learned during my lunch hour…

1) There are no cute shoes left in Manhattan. I don’t like any of them. I walked all over Soho during my lunch hour and couldn’t find one pair I liked. I did go to Aldo and try on the ones I thought I’d like but they’re a little too… trendy looking and I want something I’m going to use for more than just one year. Of course, the alternate side is that with sandals that you wear with bear feet, perhaps asking for more than one season of usable is asking too much. If that’s the case, I’m sure as hell not paying $90 for a pair. I had perfectly excellent strappy wedges from Nine-West but I wore them to death. How aggrevating.

2) Forever 21 is for those who have the figure of a 21 year old. Everything is made out of t-shirt knit and just hangs on every bump. I tried on two dresses which were semi-ok but it felt strange wearing something that felt like a night gown. It was rather comfy but the fabric was so thin as to have to wear a slip of some sort and it was so clingy so there really wasn’t room. I’m not terribly huge but I feel like such a fat-arse today. I’m going to remind myself that I look good in my jeans. I did manage to get two tops which are retro-ish looking and will be nice with pants in the summer. Too bad my feet are doomed to sweat.

I dragged out my espadrilles from last year and they smell so horrible. I just need to get home and they’re totally out of here. I wonder if it might be nice to just get some ballet flats. Perhaps platformed wedges aren’t the way to go? But then all my pants will drag. All the sandals I clipped out of the magazines are like $300 a pop. Before I throw my espadrilles away, I will take a pair of scissors to them and see if I can’t rework them. If I opened the toe up, I bet they wouldn’t smell, you know with more air circulation. I could also fix the slouchy back thing too. Hmmm, might as well try, right?

The worst thing is the time and effort this is all taking. I just want a pair of shoes that I don’t have to wear socks with, that won’t smell, and look ok with all my work clothing. I think there was a nice pair, conservative but the comfort will make up for it, at Aerosoles. Too bad I can’t wear flip-flops to work.

Then I went to Pearl for the art supplies for my work project. Everything went well although things were significantly more expensive than they list on the website. Bah… should have just ordered online. Then it was funny to travel back to the office because I’m wearing a dress and my shoes aren’t holding up so well. I must have been a funny sight.

I’m looking forward to Easter and a nice relaxing weekend by Mom’s. It’ll be fun to watch Zoe hunt for eggs.


Apr 12 – part 1

I’m going to do it. I’m going to buy the shoes. They’re expensive but I figure everyone else got to spend money. Frank bought a new tool and we had to pay for the windshield he broke. Zoe got all new clothes and she doesn’t even wear them as long as I will. I have to hit Aldo since they have the only cute shoes in the entire world it seems. I dragged out my espadrilles from last year. They’re cute and seem to be ok. I think I will get the leather sandles then. Then I picked out a few things from Forever 21 that are rather vintage inspired. I have never shopped there before but I made a list and should be able to get everything within a half hour. Talk about power shopping! Everything will come well below my allowed budget for new clothes. Of course this is before trying things on. Nothing could fit and there I’d be without having to spend any money at all.

Ok – back to work. Today is art project day at work. I get to make an outing to Pearl Paint and then have a nice lunch, semi-working, with one of the cool people here at work.


Apr 4

Hm… where has Suzanne gone off to these days?

I am being eaten alive by work projects. My website is going smoothly. Meanwhile I am working on two projects for my work’s 90th anniversary that I am totally ecstatic about. One, I am turning the inside meeting room into an exhibit of our history including photos, which I have blown up and am mounting on foamcore. I have an idea to make it look like a museum. We even have some old office equipment laying around so it’ll be really neat. Two, I am directing, producing, and writing a living timeline. I got a woman who supplies movies to do the costumes. I also have ten lucky volunteers to each wear an outfit representing each of our nine decades and say a few lines. I’m thinking about making a powerpoint slide show as well… maybe… It’s going to be so much fun!!! Plus, as the idea person, I get to wear a nice outfit from 1916. Yay!!!! Frank mentioned the hair issue, as in I have none, so I’ll have to get a hat too. The only snag is that I’m having a little trouble finding out median rents for a 1 bedroom in NYC for each of the 10 past decades. I got the 1920’s via an article about live in Harlem from the very helpful library people but that’s it. She pointed me in a good direction though. I love the library’s ask a librarian chat feature.

I also have a freelance project I’m working on and some articles to finish up that are post due. Frank is not so good with a deadline.

Needless to say, that doesn’t leave much time for reflection.

I did have a nice weekend with Zoe. On Saturday we went shopping for her summer wardrobe. Found the cutest things ever. I lost a pair of pants, they were 12 years old, and a bra whose wire stabbed me, so I got one pair of pants and a new bra. Who-hoo. Frank also got a new pair of BDU’s since black pants do not stay black forever. On Sunday I planned to take Zoe to the botanical garden but we got side tracked at the Zoo and ended up meeting Mom and John there. Frank had a relaxing home weekend because his foot was bothering him. Too bad, we had lots of fun.

I’m on the hunt for a nice summer shoe once again. I’ve seen several that will work. I was thinking wood, platform wedge with leather straps. Not too high. I know leather is not exactly vegetarian but I don’t have really good experience with synthetic shoes.


Mar 27

I am so tired. Silly me, trying to go out for the night and relive my youth. Friday I made it home with the girl scout cookies intact. You have to really beware on the subway. People smell the box and it’s like blood for sharks. A girl could get seriously mauled.

Saturday we woke up and decided we were looking a little scruffy so we headed to Astor Place for his and hers haircuts. Ali, our usual stylist was booked solid so we got alternates which was nice because we both got our hair cut at the same time. the Pumpkin napped the entire time which meant I had a nice relaxing time which was welcome after the marathon apartment cleaning and 8 loads of laundry I did in the morning. I absolutely love what he did. I have no more hair. No more poof. Good riddance.

Mom came and got us and we headed to Queens for dinner. It was the first time we left for an evening out before the Pumpkin went to bed but we left Mom with specific instructions for the pre-bedtime ritual and headed out to the bar. Strange thing, this Bushwick Country Club. Nice bar. Decently closer to home than Mom’s house. My sister showed up a little later and said Mom and John had a little fuss but not too bad. Poor Frank. He was feeling very crappy indeed but put on a brave front. He didn’t drink a bit so I could have a few. I talk way too much when I’m drunk. Not in a violent, starting fights kind of way but in the poor person who has to listen to it all kind of way. Kelvin, the Pumpkin’s godfather and the birthday boy, has the nicest friends and it was nice to touch base with people I haven’t seen since college. Everyone looks a little older. I really don’t think of myself as terribly old because I don’t see people who are younger than me on a regular basis and goths don’t age like normal people. However, when you see people who you haven’t seen in 10 years and they look, well, grown up, then it hits you, you’re grown up too. Crap… how the heck did that happen?

All in all it was a great time. We made friends with another parent and look forward to getting together with the kids in tow. I wish I had more time to chat with some of the other people but I got to the people I know best to at least say a quick hello. All but one. There is only one person in Kelvin’s circle who I cannot come in contact with at all because of another person who hates me like… well, she’d probably be happy if I just dropped off the face of the planet. Her list of beefs with my character is enough to fill a small frieghter. I have no idea why and I can’t change who I am so oh well. I don’t remember ever doing anything to make her hate me. Anyway, we always joke amoung ourselves about it and the more mischievious of us, I think, is secretly waiting for a cat fight to break out one of these days. I could very easily really antagonize this person but I won’t because of Kelvin and her husband, who’s the really nice guy who I can’t say hi too, although I would have liked to since we worked on the college paper together and it’s nice to hear news of people you knew well once upon a time. Besides, I just don’t have that sort of evil in me or energy to spend. Anyway, at least I looked rather fetching and there is no better way to counter a bad attitude than with a great outfit and awesome hair.

Yesterday we hung out at Mom’s. They made us waffles. We took the Pumpkin to the park. On the way, we passed this really run down house. The windows are broken – it’s a wreck but the property is nice. I really reminds me of something a psycho killer would live in but Frank and I always wonder, though, what it would be like to buy it and fix it up. It’s sort of cute and has potential and it for sale but the number is not legible. Oh well. Nice to know, though, that one sees eye to eye with one’s husband on loss cause dwellings.


Mar 24

My girl scout cookies came!!! I wonder if I can make it until I get home to open a box. This year I got Frank three boxes of Samoas since he eats one box in a sitting. Why are there only 12 per box? Whose idea was that? And how do I get these cookies home?

I am sad to see that it looks like the pumpkin soup is being shelved for the season. The minnestrone looked good but when I got back to my desk, I realized it was seriously lacking in pasta. The roll was decent.

Only an hour more to go and then I can go home because I was here rediculously early. Today was also donut day which I always love and since it’s been two week since donut day since I opted for an egg and cheese last week, I feel extra worthy.

We have a party to look forward to this weekend. Slight logistical issues though and it’s too late to line up an alternate sitter. We have to see what we can do. It’ll suck to miss it but Frank said we’d both stay home if it didn’t work out which is nice instead of just me. The nice thing about being married is that a night home with a movie and getting to sleep early isn’t that bad. But we’ll see. It’s been ages since we’ve gone out.

I am so embarrassed but the Girl Scout cookies didn’t make it. One down…


Mar 23

Mmm Mmm Mmm – Praline Soy Nuts are just the best thing ever. Today was egg and cheese day and I saw those and I couldn’t resist. There were chocolate covered ones too which I’ll try next time.

Weekend was good – took Monday and Tuesday off to hang out with the Pumpkin and Frank. I really just needed to escape from work for a little while. The branding guru is out on holiday too so it was a nice quiet time for me to dissappear.

Otherwise it’s just work work work now. I started to crochet a blanket and my hands have returned to their numbness. Looks like crochet is the culprit. I’ll have to go to quilting now as a means of making blankets. Meanwhile I’ll go back to working on music. I promised myself that if I write three songs by June, I’ll do a show.

Great news on the freelance front. My friend, who is starting a bath goods business is letting me do her website. It’s so cool – purple with bubbles. I might make the bubbles 3D if I get some time today. Then my grandmother called and she says her social club needs a site and I was like – who-hoo – of course I’ll do it. So exciting.


Mar 17

I’m so glad it’s Friday. Two and half hours and I can go home. I was waiting for the powers that be to make a decision on my website design so I decided to work on the internal site which should be a lot easier because only I’m doing it and I showed my boss and the designer director and they loved it. Of course I had to make some versions on the public site in the same style which they also love and they showed it to the BIG CHEESE and she loves it. I hope this is the beginning of the end of this.

Meanwhile, I’m also redoing zansite. Nothing major. Just a little pretty-pretty here and there. We’re having a nice quiet weekend. We have to recover from some recent expenses so we’re home bound. Frank has to head out to his Dad’s on Sunday so the Pumpkin and I will have a nice girl day. Maybe we’ll go to the Zoo since it’s a free thing to do and we haven’t gone in a while.

Even Frank’s day is ending up ok. He was supposed to do a transmission at work and we extremely nervous about it. They ended up giving the job to someone else, which made him upset because he was also excited. But he seems to have recovered and got some much needed reassuring from his manager-person about some personality conflicts they were having.

It’s nice to end the week on an up note. I feel like progress is being made at work and things are quiet at home. Now if I can get home without being thrown up on or molested, everything will be just dandy. I think I am going to take my boss’s cue and leave early. He’s already gone and I think I’m cutting out at 4 pending how much zansite I can bang out.


Mar 14

My Kingdom for a Decision Maker!

Chocolate will not save the day. I am so tired. I can’t think any more. I can’t make a square peg fit in a round hole. I cannot perform magic tricks in the unmagical world of web design. I certianly must suck.

I want to crawl into bed with Frank and the Pumpkin and the cats and pretend I don’t have bills to pay.

All the work I did over the past three weeks is complete trash. The powers that be reneged on their prior approval of what I did and the new changes will require a new stylesheet. I mean I can use most of it but not all.

I should have gone into physical design like closets or interior design. There is no arguing with math. That 60″ plasma won’t fit in a 30″ space. No argument there. I’ve consistantly done everything they wanted and now they’re crying – oh where’s our white space? Where?!?!? You filled it with stuff. Either you put it there or not. There is no sort of.

I know if I could just sit down with this woman, I could figure out what to do, but they won’t let me. I hear everything second and third hand and I can’t work this way. I have no idea who’s in charge. Whoever is in charge, I should be talking to.


Mar 13

I can’t even eat lunch in peace today. I had to take a break and write checks for the rent and daycare so I enjoyed some overly cheese mac and cheese. Too much sauce. Actually, I have a tummy ache now. Blech. And people are bugging me left and right. I wish I had an office.

We had a nice weekend. Tried to go to Prospect Park but the subway and then the passengers on said subway were not cooperative. So we walked back home, through the neighborhood and the Pumpkin had a nice nap in the jogger. Once she got up, we grabbed a bite at our favorite diner and then brought her to the very fun and crowded playground. After we interloped with the rich people in Brooklyn Heights, we headed home and made baked pasta medley, which is basically all the leftover ravioli, manicotti, and stuffed shells from the past few months I had lurking in the freezer – still good, thrown into a glass baking dish and covered with cheese and baked for an hour. It’s a dinner I like because it requires next to no actual cooking.

After a nice shower for everyone we got ready for the next day and settled down to watch the Blackbeard Pirate show on National Geographic. It was pretty decent but way too many commercials. It could have been easily an hour show which would have been nicer. Instead we saw at least 6 of each commercial. After an hour of three minutes of show, five minutes of commercials, we were so annoyed. Nevermind making it through that new HBO show about the polygymist. I’ll just on-demand that for later this week. I don’t know why I want to see it, I’d kill Frank if he suggested something like that, but like a trainwreck, I can’t help myself.

Actually, I’d be having a good day today, especially since my friend Amanda came over bearing tea for a mid-morning break because she is the sweetest ever, except for the constant yapping of certian people near my cubical. I really need peace and quiet. I do not need to hear a stupid radio. I do not need to hear about what someone is buying from SYMS or how many cookies you ate, even though you shouldn’t. And even all this chatter is forgivable but I absolutely do not want to hear what you like and dislike about your fellow workers. I mean no sooner does someone leave their space, and they are like did you hear? did you see? can you believe? Blah Blah Blah… shit talkers, talking shit – blah blah blah. If you can’t say anything nice – and I’ve heard them say that too, little good that does – shut the “F” up ladies. I don’t need to hear this shit all day and every day.

Ok… venting over. I am off to return the tea cup Amanda lent me and to get back to work. I am looking forward to a quiet week with no plans. Our budget needs some recovery. Not like we spent a whole lot of money but you know how it goes.


Mar 10

Next in the series of essays on what Suzanne thinks is wrong with the planet. Yay! Now that sounds so optimistic! A friend pointed out that my opinion on lazy, sloppy, and stupid people as the cause of all the world’s problems has a hole. She says what about those ENRON types who fit in the tidy, educated, and working hard nitch and yet are some of the worst perpetrators of bad, selfish living and crime? Hmmm… very true. Shame on me for forgetting, and shame on them for proving my theory wrong.

So I thought a little more about what exactly is the problem. It has to be more than just sloppy, lazy and stupid people. Many people are sub-par intelligence, and yet they live decent lives. Likewise with slobs. Some very sweet people are hopelessly untidy. No crime there. In fact I bet there are quite a few true psychos who are very tidy a la Hannibal Lechter. I don’t know any lazy people so I can’t compare anything there. Point is, there is some wiggle room. So what is it? Religious people do nasty things… religion probably is neither a solution or the problem though. Hmmm…

I looking for more unsavory vices I remembered my good friends the seven deadly sins. I had to google them because I can never remember them all. Thankfully there is a website for everything, http://deadlysins.com and the seven sins are as follows:

  • Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
  • Envy is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation.
  • Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
  • Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
  • Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
  • Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
  • Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

We’re all screwed. I do that sort of thing all the time. Maybe not anger since I am a pretty happy camper. There is a jar of marshmallow fluff that I totally committed gluttony with (shhhh, don’t tell Frank). Point is, I don’t feel like I’m a bad person. I don’t think I am a bad person. Hmm… The problem might be then acting on things or glorifying the acting on of such “sins.” I do feel all of the above but I don’t really act on anything, except the aforementioned fluff.

Depressing still… the situation seems hopeless. I mean, I’m Christian so I have this idea about the afterlife and feel pretty secure there but meanwhile, living here on Earth is worrisome and stressful. Then I saw something interesting. The deadly sin website to the rescue again, http://deadlysins.com/features/gandhi.htm.

Did you know Gandhi had a set of deadly sins too? I didn’t. But they’re alot more interesting in that they offer a guideline of what to do rather than what not to do. In short, they seem more positive. They are:

  • Wealth without Work
  • Pleasure without Conscience
  • Science without Humanity
  • Knowledge without Character
  • Politics without Principle
  • Commerce without Morality
  • Worship without Sacrifice

This, for some reason, really makes sense to me. I still think it’s nice to live without the prior sins, I mean I got a nasty tummy ache from the fluff which is proof enough that the sins are there for a reason. And anger and jealousy, for two, really toxify your life. But these seem like bigger, universal ideas. I wonder then, why don’t people, in general, listen to the people who make the most sense?


Mar 9

I was going to make a post about my feelings about obscenely pointy shoes which really freak me out. Why would anyone want to add four inches to the size of their feet. Eeeww and toe cleavage. Not like I have a dislike of feet but it’s somehow nasty. Thumbs down for pointy shoes.

The powers that be actually like my website, finally, and it looks like a go. I met one of the powers in the elevator this morning and she complimented me in person, after she figured it out that it was me since I dyed my hair recently.

What is foremost in my mind, and sensitive types should skip this because I am going to way off the politically correct pier here, is this stupid show Frank and I watched part of last night. Called Black and White, they basically are having a white family get made up into a black family and vice versa. The makeup is professional and very convincing. We watched because the idea is very interesting, the ultimate answer to “is the grass green on the other side of the fence?” There are some problems with the scenerios they play out, mainly that to get real results, you’d have to have the same person, go to the same place, as black and then as white and see if there were any differences. Sending the people to different places doesn’t account for things like the salesperson was having a bad day etc etc etc. Already it’s not going to be a fair comparision.

When telling the other family how to act black, the man tells the other man that in order to be convincing, he should have bad posture and slouch. Is having bad posture and slouching a black thing? Hmmm… The the white guy, in black make-up and stereotypically gangstar clothing, and he really does look black, goes to a used car lot and shops for a car. He is helped right away and treated very fairly and politely. When he comes back and tells the black family this over their evening discussion, oh btw they live together during the experiment, the black man doesn’t believe that he got treated fairly because he cannot fathom a black person being treated fairly at all. Paranoid are we? Of course you have to know that the white guy did act very politely and that probably didn’t hurt.

Then they discuss the N word. The black guys gets very aggitated when the white guy says it, even in this non-aggressive context. They discuss why it’s ok for black people to use such a word around each other, but even in the exact same context, a white guy cannot say it. Frank knows about this because at work he sees it all the time. He is the only white tech, and they throw it around like crazy but he doesn’t dare say anything. Of course it’s ok for them to call him “whitey.” That’s like Frank and I referring to each other and my family members like, “hey what up nazi?” I don’t think any use of any derrogatory term is ever ok. I hate to think anyone’s vocabulary is so limited that that is the only word people can come up with to great each other with. It got worse and just more rediculous.

30 minutes later, I think, more than ever, that the problem is that people use their race/ethnicity as a scapegoat. Your problem is not that you’re black or hispanic or any minority, or that you’re jewish or poor or whatever. Your problem is that you’re stupid, lazy, dirty, angry or what ever it might be. Of course people are going to judge you by what you look like. There will never be a time when people won’t since that’s what people see first and often you don’t have time to learn anything. But there is no faster way to ammend their first impression than with the right attitude and behavior. I know this first hand because I have managed to get promoted, become respected and not have had to give up all my gothyness in a corporate environment. I’m polite, clean, and work my toochas off, oh and I speak correct English which is always a plus in the professional world. If I came in looking like Lil’ Kim, and calling everyone bro, I’d probably get a stern talking too about proper business etiquette (let me just mention a certian wrinkled, disshelved, slang-swinging person – sloppy work, sloppy person – who annoys the crap out of me – who is going nowhere fast). The people I know who speak well and work hard, they do very well, regardless of the color of their skin. We do several diversity reports/meetings here and the overwhelming movement is to create a diverse workplace. But you need qualified professional people to fill the positions and I get the feeling that professionalism is seen as a “white” behavior although I don’t understand why anyone can’t tuck in their shirt, wear clothing in their size, use proper English, and work with an 80% productivity rate, leaving time for socializing and various distractions during the day, a-hem, cough, cough… Oh wait, a certian person can’t manage any of that. I shall call him Sloppy-Bro. But I degress.

I read an column in the Daily News today by Stanley Crouch, who is columnist, novelist, essayist, critic and television commentator. He wrote about Gordon Parks who died a few days after the Oscars. Gordon Parks was one of the foremost black photographers and broke down many barriers in his field in the 1960s. His work won many awards. Parks was also a composer, writer and film director, the true definition of a self-educated and self-made man. Crouch wrote about his sophistication, elegance, discipline and impecable style. Here’s the kicker. Parks was the youngest of 15 children, born into severe poverty in Kansas, and a high-school drop-out. If anyone had an excuse to be just another gangstar, it could have been Parks. Crouch writes, “It was always the goal of Gordon Parks to disprove stereotypes by countering them with excellence.” Ahhh… I really like that, “countering them with excellence.”

Now instead of Mr. Parks, we have recent Oscar winners, Three 6 Mafia, and their song, “It’s Hard Out Here For a Pimp.” Yay!!!! Let’s look up to the pimps!!! Oh oh oh oh and this new movie coming out called “ATL” Um… yeah. The only way to get out of the ghetto is to deal drugs. Oh… sure. That’s a great solution. Um. Does this make anyone else mad? I’m not black and I’m furious that this crap is being sold to people. Are you mad that the concencious is that the only way for you to make something out of yourself is to turn to a life of crime? Sad sad sad. No wonder so many come to nothing with their lives if this is the message via film and song. Success by hard work and education is presented as something impossible to achive. Argh!!!! I think there should be more focus on people like Mr. Parks and less on Three 6 Mafia.

SIGH… there is so much potential. I see it in the Pumpkin. She has no prejudices. She has no bias. She likes to work hard, organizing things around the house. She’s eager for little tasks. All kids are the same. Then I see what some parents are like on the subway and I shudder. I want to say, do you know you are ruining that child’s life with your behavior? I see how we influence her. She hates garbage and dirt, like Mommy. She loves to drive, like Daddy. She is very gentle with animals, because we taught her to be with the kitties at home. But she picks up our bad habits too. She already said “shit” and this morning I think I heard “f*ck.” We’re working on a no profanity house now. Unless you change your leaves, your child will be the apple that falls right under your crappy tree… bro…


Mar 8

I’m just sending out a quick note to test how well this thing handles css tags. I introduced the Pumpkin to the Roland last night. She seemed eager but lost interest by the time we set it up. I spent a good two hours working on something I started two years ago. Feels good to get back to work. This morning when she woke up, she wanted to play right away. I really wish we had a real piano.

I have a new icon too. I’m tired of seeing my face so I can just imagine everyone else.


Mar 7

Happiness is a productive Sunday evening. Spent the day at a baby shower for my step-sister-in-law. Very nice — lots of ladies, shower bingo, and a very good cake, which aside from a few dinner rolls and a green salad, was all I can eat. Carnage was everywhere. My mom, traitor, was trying to persuade me to eat some linguini with mussles, which I wouldn’t have eaten even if I was omnivorous. I told her that even mussles have feelings. One of the ladies at our table works for the Federal Reserve and actually knows about my company which was a real blast. Small world really. Colleen, the mom-to-be, looks great and is gaining hardly any weight at all. She was completely surprised which was also nice.

Afterwards I hung out at John’s house where he set me up with the Turbo Tax. Such a nice house where even if everyone in doing something different in other rooms, you still feel a sense of togetherness. I heard some of his son Joseph’s music and it’s really good. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to live in a house where your musical talent was actually encouraged and fostered. In any case, if we should fall on hard times, we can always become the next Partridge Family. I wonder about playing some of my stuff but it’s been so long. Certianly John is more than nice and not-judgemental and he knows so much about production. I could really benefit. Why am I so nervous about my stuff? I’m pretty sure it’s not that bad even if it’s completely different from what they do. Then again, John’s music is different from his son’s. Interesting that all three of them.

I made it back in time to see the Pumpkin off to bed. Frank took her to the Transit Museum where she totally wore out him and our friend Thomas. Thomas came bearing gifts from Christmas and got the Pumpkin an ugly doll, which she loves, and I got a really cool graphic novel. So cool. He spoils us so.

the Pumpkin was sick yesterday so I worked from home, or tried to. The network wasn’t entire cooperative. Sometimes I wish I could move to Vermont, raise sheep, and crochet sweaters for a living with a healthy dose of web design on the side for good measure. I made a fabulous parsnip soup (parsip snoop if you don’t say it slowly). I’m fairly caught up, though, by now and by the end of the week, I should be in a good place.

We were going to plug in the keyboard for the Pumpkin yesterday but then the soup got in the way and after dinner I was just too tired. It was the sort of night where we were counting down the minutes until we could all go to bed. Maybe tonight. We’ll see.

There’s more. I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Things are moving. Always have to finish something up…


Mar 1

I am taking a much deserved break. I’m still working at a dizzying speed on several projects at once. Everything is going fairly well except that some of the people I have to deal with are just pains. The problem is, in a corporate environment, you often have to do what the pain wants. Bad attitude shouldn’t merit you any sort of results but it somehow does and, of course, when a process is rewarded, then they think that’s the way to go. It’s this horrible cycle. I am avoiding such a person’s request for the next 30 minutes just to detox. In a nutshell, they wait until the last minute to ask for things. I happen to work fast, and they look like the hero even though I did all the work.

A staff meeting is thwarting me continuing…

Unfortunately I missed service… might try to hit my own church up tonight.


Feb 24

It’s Friday, which means donuts for me. Hmmmmm… donuts. I’m spending the day, as soon as I finish writing, working on the public site redesign for work. It’s been on the back burner while I did a million other things but today I think it’s time for some attention. I’m going to get some nice pumpkin soup and a salad to counteract the damage the donut is doing. So good…

This weekend we’re taking it easy. the Pumpkin’s getting a haircut because she’s turning into a Struwelpeter. Frank needs one too but he might have to head out alone… we’ll see how it all works together with nap time. I might dye my hair – looking pretty rooty.


Feb 23

I read a few things this morning in the newspaper, so much so that I didn’t even have time to start my crossword puzzle. I have some thoughts…

Leeches: Yay!!! I knew those kooks in the 18th century were onto something. Such a melodramatically, romantic way to treat athritis pain apparently. The little suckers have a pain killer built in to them. You feel better, they get full. It’s all very copasetic. They’re farmed locally on Long Island. Now that’s a funny thing to tell people: That you’re a leech farmer.

Dubai Port Deal Thingy: I personally don’t think any of our ports should be in foriegn hands. If the illustrious-lacking GW didn’t know about it, then he is a bigger idiot than I thought, which seems hardly possible. It has disaster written all over it. I feel like it’s going to take decades to clean this mess up. If he didn’t know, then it’s confirmed that he is just a patsy for more devious minds within the GOP and that’s alarming and creepy. If I was CEO of America, I’d fire them all and start over. If the deal goes through, I’ll tell you why I’m not too worried. Those Dubai people are rich, rich, rich. They are not likely to let anything happen to their investment. If anything, it might be an olive leaf, sort of, showing that it is possible for a western country to have a decent relationship with a middle eastern country, in a productive, non miltitary way. Of course perhaps they have the money to burn to buy a port, only to blow it up. Only time will tell. I think in ten years a lot of things will have come to pass. I only hope we all survive long enough to see it.

Good Fella’s Guide to Being a Man: Big spread on a new book on being a “man’s man” including fashion tips and behavior guidelines brought to you by a guy that plays a mobster on the screen. A big giggle. But anything that keeps guys from being frat-boy disasters is good by me. It’s embarrassing but there’s something about a guy who wears a nice suit and drives a fast sports car that works for me (I’ve seen Transporter several times… I know, I know…).

And finally, Suzanne’s Mom-in-the-know tip of the day. Do not give your toddler your chapstick, even if she puts it on correctly and doesn’t eat it anymore. She’ll insist on putting the cap back herself, taking most of the chapstick off with it. Sigh… I was in the mood for a new flavor anyway.


Feb 22

A very busy past few days. I worked from home on Friday and got to spend the two hours I usually commute each day with the Pumpkin which is always nice. Saturday morning we woke up early, finished the apt cleaning and then had a nice visit with Kelvin and Shawnda and my sister. Sunday we helped our friends Carly and Dave paint their nursery. Actually Carly watched the Pumpkin while we helped out being that there was lead paint lurking about. the Pumpkin seemed to behave herself really well which was nice because I really miss socializing and whatnot. We had a very yummy dinner before heading back to Brooklyn. Monday, Frank had to work so I took the Pumpkin to Middle Village to hang out with my Mom. Nice calm visit including a walk around the park. Back to work yesterday – just bouncing through my projects. A certian person continues to be exceedingly annoying. If I had the balls I would just flat out bitch out but, which is probably better off anyway, I feel the need to be civil. Must be civil in the workplace after all to promote work flow.

I am trying to get my company to let me, and a few other brave souls, dress up in period garments for our 90th anniversary celebration. I hope they go for it because it would be lots of fun. Ok – back to work…


Feb 16

What an intense morning! I got the first versions of both the business card thingy and the print piece done. I’m tired, in part due to last night’s late hours. I worked through lunch and for once didn’t feed my outfit or keyboard. I am not staying past 4:45pm today. Now I’m waiting on other people to become available for a chat about what to do with the version one-s. And, I did some freelance work. Yeah, it was a busy morning but I like it that way.

I didn’t write about Valentine’s Day. the Pumpkin made us cute little crafty items at daycare which are hanging on the fridge. After a while you start to collect so many things. I’m keeping the flat things and putting them into her baby-book. Probably should get some other sort of box for everything she generates. Frank and I don’t really do anything, silly holiday. I got Frank a card because he deserved it – has been doing a lot of great husband work, especially in the budgeting area -not because it was the holiday but it helped that there were a lot of cards to choose from.

I think we picked out the color for the bathroom and the living room… the bedroom is another issue. Frank wants something coolish – mossy. I was something warm – chartruse. You see the problem there. No rush though. Can’t paint in the winter and before my work projects are done and I can take a few days off.


Feb 15

I am working at 11 at night because I can and certian other people don’t have computers at home and can’t. I’ve all of a sudden been brought in on all sorts of projects. Weird ones like a business card disk thing and a print piece. I think the thorn is busy and letting me do my own stuff. Depending on how much I bust my toochas tomorrow and Friday, I might be able to not have to work on Saturday. Tired… Take three for this redesign work. I hope the last for a while.

I’m listening to the Olympics which is nice. I finally got Fresh Direct and realized I forgot to get Apple Sauce for the Pumpkin.

I need to join the gym asap. I have to figure it out but I need to do it. With my new shorter hair then ever, practically not even there, I could probably get away with swimming. I really like swimming the best. I need to make a to do list. So many loose ends here and there.


Feb 13

Curling is the coolest sport ever. We watched a bit of the pairs skating and the women’s snowboarding too. Then Frank opted for a sexual science show on National Geographic.

We had a nice walk to Target, which is over a mile away and good exercise. I got boots. Not as cute as I wanted but they work pretty well. We all had fun walking around. the Pumpkin made a snow angel. One the way home, we stopped at the small park for a little sleding. The BQE is plowed and it’s noisy once again, damn.

Staying home with the Pumpkin since daycare is short-staffed. We’ll have more park time today.


Feb 12

Ahh quiet nap time. While the Pumpkin is sleeping, I’m organizing my clipping notebooks. I can’t believe how quiet it is outside. I love when it snows because it’s the only time we get peace and quiet here. Already, kids are in the courtyard playing. The entire neighborhood looks like a Victorian winter wonderland. Happiness.

We’re heading to Target after naptime which should be a nice adventure. We are short pull-ups, hot cocoa, baby vitamins and laundry detergent. Figures since no matter what we always have to go to Target every other week anyway.

I also stuck up my paint chips in prep for the big paint in the spring. I think I have picked out the colors but Frank has to like them too so we’ll see. We like to live with the chips for a while. I can’t believe how different colors look in the store from how they look on my walls. Colors are infinitely more dark in our apartment even though we gets loads of natural light. That’s another nice thing about today too. It’s bright outside and we don’t have to use the lights. And it’s nice and toasty, dispite the wind and lack of hot cocoa.

Another happy veggie find. My Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque, which is awesome for a once a week deep cleansing without over drying of my face, is animal friendly, no testing or ingredients. And it’s cheapo. When I’m blonde, I use their cholesterol hair gloop which is great too. Yay!!! Slowly I am making progress with the beauty products. It’s the anti-agers which are difficult to find but I’m working on it.

I am so happy we got everything done yesterday. Go us. We’d love to go out. We all have goggles and appropriate clothing except that I don’t have boots. I am kicking myself. I even picked them out from Cabelas and they weren’t even uber pricy but I didn’t get around to getting them due to dentisty allocations. We’ll see if I can’t make it Target today. We can pull the Pumpkin on the sled which will be fun and the streets should be free of traffic.

I have no idea why people are out driving but they are. Looks like there was an accident on the BQE – no surprise there. Looks like a snowglobe. Who drives in that? Crazy people, that’s who and we all know there are no shortage of crazies in New York.

the Pumpkin is still at that age where she needs to be active which is tough on days like today. Next year she’ll be happy with homedays during which we can bake and craft. I’m happy as long as the computer is up and running. And there’s the cable. We’re covered.


Feb 11

She has learned a new trick. She takes a crayon and a pad of paper and walks around the apartment, making a list, jotting things down, and saying, hmmm ok. So it’s like cats? ok… chair? ok… cow? ok… Very cute. Who do you think she gets that from? 😉

We are enjoying our weekend. Hopefully we’ll get a visit from Carly and Dave unless the weather doesn’t pan out. We ran into one of the Pumpkin’s daycare mates so we might have a playdate with them tomorrow as well. Good thing we got all our cleaning out of the way today and Fresh Direct is coming tomorrow so we’re all done.

It’ll be another weekend until we can get haircuts. We’re all looking scruffy. Hopefully next week…


Feb 8

Yup. I am wearing a tie today. It is my skinny vintage tie with the pretty green and scarlette scroll design. I paired it with my new (thank you tax free week/month whatever) trouser shorts and my 20-hole Docs. I am very uber today. I have decided that until I can get a haircut, I will be wearing my hair up because I cannot stand to have it look so messy. Frank hates this look but even strangers are complimenting my hair. Go figure. I do know what I am doing with it though. Something really low maintenance.

In my pursuit for animal friendly items, I bought a few things from The Body Shop. I haven’t tried the face wash yet since I’m still working through the Clinique. So far the Body Butter is ok. Not any better than my Neutrogena and three times the price. Hmmm… It does smell pretty nice. Frank said like strawberries and stale beer. Hmmm… The nice lady gave me a sample of the hand lotion which actually is making my leprosy worse, if that’s possible. Back to the Lubriderm. For me to spend that much money, it had better work, well, better. So I have to find something else. I really really want to use animal-free products but I have tempermental skin and I need something that works. In the end though, I can’t be spending $20 on a 6 ounce tube of lotion. Ahhhh… I just used the Lubriderm and my hands already feel better.

Frank and I are on the mend from our bout with the germs. I am still very tired and leaving on time today. Tomorrow I will start on getting a working version of the final design for the new corporate website. Who-Hooooo!!! They finally made up their minds and it isn’t ugly. Yay!! Score one for Suzanne who wouldn’t make something ugly so why don’t you just trust her?

Ok… too tired to type. I should not have stayed up last night to watch Meet the Barkers but it was like a train wreck and I couldn’t pry myself away.


Feb 1

Ahhh – it’s finally done. It one thing when a client tells you want to do, but when you have to think of the best possible thing for yourself, it’s quite another matter. The professional site can be viewed at http://www.zansite-ny.com/professional/index.html

The nice thing about being a creative corp goth is that I can use information normally people have to pay thousands of dollars for but that I get exposed to for free. At least if they don’t listen to me at work, I have my own personal things to work with.

To celebrate my website and my reemergence into the wonderful world of freelance, I got myself two cookies from Au Bon Pain and a nice large bowl of Pumkin Harvest soup.

Now it’s back to work…


Jan 31

I’ve been MIA out at a conference for work. It was awesome and lots of fun. I got to talk to some really neat people and learn some techniques for creating an effective brand. I’ve already put these practices to work for my personal freelance website and I finished my report last night. The bad news is that no matter how good my ideas are, this stupid place is too ass backwards to ever do anything remotely progressive. At least my boss agrees with me.

Otherwise things are quiet. Frank and I are preparing for the big apartment paint. We have to coordinate with Mom because she’ll have to take the Pumpkin for the weekend. I hope to have the entire place done within three days so we’ll see. Good thing about a small place is that there is less to paint. Our bathroom will probably take a half day and we found this great spackel that dries in 20 minutes without needing sanding. I told Frank there was such a thing. Most important, the place won’t look so schmutzy anymore.

It’s press release day – not a whole lot of time to update. Plus I really want to get my professional site in order so that’s taking precedence over rambling.


Jan 19

In brief, a riddle. How can someone who knows nothing about web design still think they can pass off a cheap imitation of others people’s site, other sites they got from a certian someone’s research analysis report, as a viable solution for our company’s website? Hmmmm… Interesting stuff. Worst thing is that all this bantering back and forth is making the powers than be tired and there’s talk of trashing the entire redesign. I am livid. More tomorrow. I have to go food shopping now before I miss the window to have my FreshDirect delivered.


Jan 18

So much has happened in the past few days. Mom’s wedding was really beautiful. Small, low-key, only local family and friends but really nice. The Milleridge Inn was a great place for everyone to have dinner afterwards. Would have liked a little more time to check out the “village” part but we didn’t want to rush and have the Pumpkin barf in the car. Poor girl gets car sick just like her mama. Frank has altered his driving style from Grand Tourismo to Grand-pa. So far so good.

Since then, we’re just relaxing. Enjoying some quality time with my grandmother. On Monday we had a nice relaxing day including long naps for everyone. It was nice to not turn on the computer to work the entire three days. I’m honestly burned out. No matter what I do, they can’t decide what to do and it’s annoying. A website evolves – you can add things to it. That’s the point. We don’t have to have all the content now, just the design we want to present it in. Then we can add things and make it look very dynamic and whatnot, beyond the product listings. Sigh… alas. At least I have some fun research interviews to do next week.

Zansite has been updated – http://www.zansite-ny.com – who-hoo!!!

We also had a nice family outing to IKEA and got everything we needed for the new shelves. We set them up and all we need to do is stain which we’ll do during the big paint in the spring.

And, thankfully, Frank’s brother in law is going to help with the traffic ticket hell Frank got himself into. We are eternally greatful. Once again I thank God for such great family.


Jan 16

Too cold. Our apartment was freezing when we came home yesterday from staying in Queens overnight and we found Clutch practically frozen and poor Spooky a mere fish-cycle. Crap. The cats are ok. Sad since we only had the fish for a little while. Sniff… More later.


Jan 6

Once you become a mom, you are rarely alone and it’s doubly so for a working mother. If I’m not working, I am with the Pumpkin since as it is, we hardly get to see each other. Then there is the time alone with Frank which happens everyday. But alone, just me, no, that doesn’t happen very often.

Today I have a joint mission with my sister to get flowers for my mom. I am in charge of floral arrangements and whatnot. She’s running late, which is no surprise since she’s always late. I’ve set up camp in the Starbucks, convieiently, as they all are, located directly across the street from where I need to be. I am enjoying a leisurely breakfast &mdash low-fat blueberry coffee cake and caramel machiatto, or however it’s spelled. “You don’t spell it, you eat it!” Six dollars is a bargain for a chance to sit and stare off into space, something, with all the planning and prep, I haven’t been able to do in a while. As annoying as Starbucks is, it’s the only place where one can loiter in a comfy chair for free and not have to be worried about being turned out into the cold.

I am not impressed with the Chelsea Wholesale Flower Market. It’s too late to change tactics now. Their selection is sub par. I am limited to two flowers when I would have liked another or two. The prices are normal. They state clearly that they’re wholesale so when I asked the guy for the prices for someone buying clearly in bulk, he replys that they’re not wholesale but mearly added it to make their business seem more “rough” to coordinate with the atmosphere of the market. Um… yeah buddie. Go ahead and be misleading for the sake of image. I am going to visualize kicking you in the face with my clunky gothic boot that hates people like you.

A mom walks by with her three year old-sized daughter. I miss the Pumpkin and will try to pick her up early and go to the park. She is very due for some recreation. Of course, as the minutes tick by, I am not sure about getting home early enough to pack and whatnot.


Jan 5

When you work freelance, you work directly with people who can make a decision. At my company no one is really very good at making a decision. As the deadline for my bonus objective draws near, and as I have time and time again reworked the website and worked my arse off nights and weekends, I realize that most likely, the new design will never actually get done. I’m annoyed beyond reason. Everything hinges on the opinion of one person and that person is so wishywashy. There’s all this crap about branding blah blah blah but really, what the heck? Do you want 50pt words flashing across the screen telling people what the company is about when just a hint will do.

My next step is to talk to real live people. I’ll actually get to speak to the public, sort of, wearing a suit, of course, and ask them about the website and probably hear what I already know. Since no one believes me, the extra backing won’t hurt.

Yesterday’s meeting went alright. The VIP person apon whom all is resting, was late so the meeting ran over. I had to leave because of the Pumpkin and everyone else stayed. Grrrrr. Already the thorn was describing my design as if he was the one who did it. I don’t mind working with other people but don’t take something I worked months on and claim it as your idea when you’ve put maybe a couple of hours of thought into it. I gave up weekends and evenings working at home and you don’t even have a computer at home, so don’t take credit where it is not due. If other people are going to quote my research, why don’t they just let me do the talking?

We shall see how things go. Must be calm and collected. Showing an emotion will only work against me.


Jan 3

The year started off wonderfully. Frank was out at his cousin’s house so it was just the Pumpkin and I. We went to the Aquarium and had a wonderful time. Then it was back to home for a little rest before spending a whole lotta time at the playground. Frank came home around 5-ish and surprised the Pumpkin in the park.

Yesterday we de-Christmas’ed the apartment. I’m sorry to see the tree go but it’s nice to have our living room back especially with all the new toys the Pumpkin got.

Today it’s back to the same old routine. I’m tired, as usual. I’m tired of being tired. I have a feeling it’s not because I’m not getting enough sleep. I’m having one of those, if it wasn’t for the Pumpkin, who is my universe, I wouldn’t mind getting hit by a bus and being done with it all sort of phases. No fun feeling like you’re not worth the gum under someone’s shoes. Funny, I thought I was beyond all this. Not a chipper way to start the year but there you have it. I’m tired of being perky for no reason. I’m tired of putting on a happy face and dealing with a raw deal. Unless it’s a happy face for the Pumpkin. For her I would walk on coals, and indeed, some days are like that.

My resolution is to take better care of myself, relax and be a good mommy and rid myself of toxic presences in my life. I’ve taken the first step and called a professional. I have no idea how to do what needs to be done but there are experts who can fix it. It won’t be the first time I’ve seen a therapist and I’m actually looking forward to putting the burden of fixing things on someone else’s shoulders.


Jan 1

From last year: Because everyone does it, I’m going to mention things that I am going to do in the new year. One – either by losing weight or just dealing with it, I am going to come to terms with my new figure. Two – grow my hair out. Nope, this is not a typo, I really said grow my hair out. I’m aiming for something shoulder length and long enough for a ponytail or small braids. There will be none of that waist long stuff though. Once in a lifetime is enough for hippie, butt-length hair. Three – take the Pumpkin to the beach, zoo, and the aquarium. Four – get a new tattoo. Something pretty, if the budget allows. Frank and I are both restless for new art. Five – get rid of junk in the apartment by coordinating a yard sale with Mom. Six – visit the grandparents in Floreeda and scope out houses in Salem. It’s a modest list which I think I can do.

I think I’ve done pretty well. I lost eight lbs. and am a steady size eight which is ok. I didn’t do two very well. I got close and then messed it up, freaked out and cut it before I realized that I could have left it. Still, I am a short hair person. We did take the Pumpkin all over this year. Thanks to our membership, she goes to either the zoo or the aquarium at least twice a month. Didn’t get to that tattoo. We did purge the apartment and got rid of crap. Everything is now neat and tidy and we’re looking forward to getting everything painted in the spring. My sister and I visited the grandparents which rounds out the list nicely. the Pumpkin continues to grow and amaze us. Frank and I continue to grow in our marriage. I have good days and bad but overall feel pretty good about where things are.

Goals for 2006:

One Pay off our huge credit card bill. This is guarenteed to happen by December 2006 so it’s an easy one. Two Join the gym. The city gym around the corner from my job is $75 a year so as soon as we get reimbursed for Frank’s teeth, this will happen too. Three Paint the apartment. We picked the colors. Sometime in the spring, as soon as we get a nice weekend, the Pumpkin will stay with her Omi and Opa in Middle Village and we’ll get this done as well. Four Get a new website done. Five Relax and enjoy what’s already around.


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