I was chatting with a friend the other evening and I had an epiphany, of sorts. We were talking about square footage and tight living quarters and I was figuring out that my house is probably closer to 700 square feet than 800, and it dawned on me that what I crave is the desire to refine myself. Living in a small space makes you consider everything that you possess and how everything must be the most perfect for you thing ever. Otherwise it doesn’t merit the space.
I am beginning to think that way about my life as well. It’s time to refine everything about me and distill it into my most perfect me. Not that I need to be perfect but rather the most complete and most true to myself version of me.
The problem is that I like lots of things. I feel that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gathered so many interests around myself like statically charged socks on a sweatshirt. There are so many socks clinging away that I can’t see myself anymore and one can only wear so many socks. These are the socks I am addressing – in no particular order:
Sock No. 1 – History. I will retain my love of all things old. I have aesthetic vertigo for modern design so sometimes I gather modern design socks, usually at IKEA. I like modern design but it isn’t a sock I want to wear.
Sock No. 2 – Handcrafts. I will continue to sew, crochet and cross-stitch. I will throw away the desire to make money off of this sock and will only embark on projects that will not take over my kitchen for months. I will not crochet any more queen-sized blankets.
Sock No. 3 – Music. This sock has been thoroughly smothered. I am trying to air this sock out by joining the church choir. Hopefully the choir master will be kind while I try to get my voice back into shape.
Sock No. 4 – Religion. God is a comfort when the shit hits the fan. I’ve missed this. I need this. I have a lot of shit hitting the fan these days.
Sock No. 5 – Running. I keep falling off the wagon. If I had not stopped, I would probably be running half marathons all the time by now. I think swimming feels better but pools are hard to come by and running is easy. I can also run when I’m half asleep.
Sock No. 6 – Web Design. Strangely enough, I think I am done with this sock. Drexel has a MS degree in project management and I think it’s calling my name. I would rather work with artistic geniouses than try to imitate them, poorly. I really like organizing things instead and there seems to be a real lack of good organizers out there.
Sock No. 7 – Small Living. I am not budging. Article in Yahoo today says more people are living small. Small is good. I don’t think I will ever live large.
Ok, enough socks for tonight.