Saturday and yesterday were great so I’m not surprised that today has sucked, including several melt-downs (both of us). Being a mom is a hard job. Being a mom of a kid with ADHD is a harder job. Being an ADHD mom with an ADHD kiddo – yeah, it’s full of that special awesomeness that can only be described with assorted four letter words I try not to use anymore.
It’s days like today that I am glad we have medication as an option. No, I don’t like medication but I feel that our inability to work through the stress and frustration is going to be more emotionally damaging that the meds will be physically. I’m worried that she is going to tell me f-off and that will be it. I will lose her forever, before she has a chance to see that I am only trying to help.
We’re also getting to a point where school is more complicated that she can deal with. The grades are dipping down and she is getting more and more frustrated.
It’s a horrible combination of helplessness and hopelessness. I hate it. Combined with other stresses, it’s very hard not to breakdown and just give up. Civilization is over-rated anyway.
On the bright side, I almost have all the laundry folded and the items I threw into the crock pot smell pretty tasty. And we did have a nice time checking out the National Museum of American Jewish History, which is so nearly new that it still has new museum smell. And I went for a nice three mile run during which I practically ran the entire thing because it’s so ridiculously cold outside and I felt that it was either run constantly or death by frostbite.
On days like today, when it is so easy to get overwhelmed, I have to remind myself that problems are not solved overnight. It takes time to find the right meds. It takes time to fix the budget. And it takes patience. Nothing can be fixed right away and everything can’t be fixed all at once. Just have to ask myself if I’ve done everything today that I can be doing to make things better and get back on track.
Going to check on the Pumpkin to see if I can coax her into studying.
Update: One of the great things about having a quiet project (Vermeer cross-stitch) is that the Pumpkin and I can sit together, working side by side, with no interruptions or distractions, mostly I am occupied so I don’t harass her and she doesn’t feel like she’s being isolated and punished. Studying accomplished!